One of these days I am going to do a post on chronic illnesses and depression. For me, they've been playmates for as long as I can remember. The more things are taken away from me by the various illnesses, the more I retreat into a big ball of depression. I do try and pull myself out of it when I can. I know it's not a good thing to be so down all the time. I make myself have contact with other people. even if it's only by phone or online, I still push myself to "talk" to others.
That lesson has been a hard one to learn over the years. There were quite a few times where I was able to put on the happy face and do what needed to be done. When I would come home, I could take off the mask and fall apart, not moving from my bed for days. Now, I'm happy that I have let others in on the deception so that they can call me out on it whenever they see me sliding back into that depressive state. Some days, I don't know what causes me to sink into that bed of sadness. I do know the root of it this time. Personal matters that are still unresolved as of yet weigh heavily on my heart because I know that neither side is ready to work things out. And it hurts me emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically.
So today and tomorrow are going to be easy days. I don't have any appointments this week. Therefore, I will be able to work through my serious backlog of books to be read and reviewed as well as work on the scarves and hats for the project we have going. We really behind so kicking it up a notch will help a lot! Hope you have a great Tuesday. I will see you again on Thursday!!
Until next time,
Kay
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