Quote of the Day

It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations. If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light, it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week, or ten thousand years -- we turn on the light and it is illuminated. Once we control our capacity for love and happiness, the light has been turned on.

~ Sharon Salzberg

Quote of the Day

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.

~ Anatole France

Quote of the Day

The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.

~ Michelangelo

Quote of the Day

Obstacles are those things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

~ Hannah More

Quote of the Day

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

~ Helen Keller

Quote of the Day

One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the gift of encouragement. When someone encourages you, that person helps you over a threshold you might otherwise never have crossed on your own.

~ John O'Donohue

Smile though your heart is breaking...

It's been a really, really tough past few weeks. Besides the personal family issues that have made things difficult, there has been the visits with arthur and fibro to contend with. I mentioned before that my illnesses are made worse by the stress. I have had severe panic attacks in the past week that have left me unable to breathe. I know a lot of it is my fault. I shouldn't have let the individuals get that much of a rise out of me. I should have put up the walls before anything else happened. Unfortunately, I'm one of those people that has a good heart and will give a dozen chances before I say I've had enough. The most unfortunate thing now is that a part of my family is gone from me. Whether they believe it or not, it hurts me. Or maybe by admitting that fact, I've given them the satisfaction they need. I don't care anymore. All I know is that I've nearly not made it through.

Today I had my usual bloodwork for the coumadin therapy that I'm on. I was a little out of range - on the thin side - but I was honest about not eating much and having these incidents. The doctor has known me and my family for years so he understood. We decided not to change anything right now and see what happens in about three weeks. I also had to have blood taken to check my thyroid. I told him it'll be low because I have a hard time remembering to take the darn med. It's difficult because I can't take it with certain meds. *sighs* Ah well.

I  was reminded today that I do matter. A blessed friend told me I had been on her mind and heart. She bought be a book of inspirations because she felt I needed it. For all the negatives that I have been through, I thought I had no positives left. I'm glad to be reminded that for every person who leaves my life, I have others waiting to help lift me up. Now all I can do is just move on with my life as well as love and support those who want to be in my life. I will not beg anyone to let me into their worlds. I have enough to worry about. So be sure to let those you love know what they  mean to you.

Until next time,
Kay

Quote of the Day

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

~ Edith Wharton

One more step

I honestly wish that my life would straighten itself out so I can get back to doing the things I love to do. I'm so sorry that this blog has suffered because of the personal things going on. I do not intend this place to be a blog about all the problems that I have to deal with. Yet a lot of them affect my arthritis and therefore, it's a part of the cycle. I'm hoping for calmer waters soon. The weather is starting to even out. I'm hopeful that will mean I can do my informative posts soon. For now, it's offline time to ready for a doctor's appointment.

Until next time,
Kay

Quote of the Day

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

~ Maya Angelou

Feelings

So, I'm still feeling tired and have a headache from the stress of yesterday. I honestly wish that life didn't have to be so darn hard. It's difficult to know how to deal with situations when you try one thing and find it doesn't work. When you try to do something opposite, it doesn't work. How exactly do you deal with that? I haven't found the answer. Don't know if there even is one.

I do know that no matter how hard I try, I still do something wrong. I admit that I used to just shut the person down if they were wrong - or if I thought them to be wrong. I have learned over the years to listen first, then process and finally deal with the situation. I play devil's advocate in any argument - even with myself. However, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get anywhere with certain people. It's like that quote - "Can't please everyone all the time."  All I do know for certain is that the stress of it all has made me feel sicker than usual. I've had a migraine since yesterday and it sucks. My back and neck have turned to stone due to the fibro knotting them all up. I literally had chest pains last night because of the anxiety. My frustration was just at an all time high because I thought I had gotten somewhere with a situation only to have it go back around to square one.

I'm not going to be stuck living my life by rehashing every wrong ever committed in my past. I have apologized to those people I've hurt and have moved on from that. I don't think the people in the situation last night realize that I have based my thoughts/feelings/opinions on what they did that day or that week. Not something that happened years ago. *sighs* Ah, well, you can lead a horse to water but can't make them drink. I was honest and open and it still didn't do any good. I think it's time to just stop focusing on those that continue to hurt and put that focus on the ones who love me and want to come around me.

Either way, I'm just not well today.
Until next time,
Kay

Quote of the Day

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.

~ Corita Kent

Life

It sucks sometimes but that's the nature of the beast, right? Right now, I had been feeling good this morning and was going to do a big post. Unfortunately, with life comes stress. Stress makes PsA, Fibro and Lupus sooo much worse to deal with. Now I feel like curling up in my bed and not doing anything thanks in large part due to stress. Stress can come from a number of sources. But for now, I'll save it all for another day. Now I rest.

Until next time,
Kay

Quote of the Day

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

Maybe...

Seems like I'm getting there. I don't really know if this flare is going to end soon or not. Maybe it will just have to be the new way of life for me. All I do know is that I'm ready for the tenderness and pain to stop so that I can get back to doing the things that I have left to enjoy. Even though I haven't been able to type much at one time, I'm still able to use my hands to work on my projects. It may take me a year but I'm doing them! PsA will not stop me. Just bear with me. I promise to work extra hard on posts in the near future. Until then, let me know in the comments what you'd like to see.

Until next time,
Kay

Quote of the Day

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

~ Mark Twain

*sighs*

One more day. Just one more. :(

Quote of the Day

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
 

~ Judy Garland

Yep

we'll try again tomorrow. <3

Quote of the Day

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
 

~ Louisa May Alcott

Grrrr...

Day four.  *insert witty comment here*

Just kidding. In reality, I'm starting to feel a little bit better. The temps haven't dropped so low in the past couple of days so by the late afternoon/early evening I actually move. It sucks to wake up and not begin your day for two or three hours. What else can I do at this point? Make the best of it - which is what I'm trying to do. Thankfully I am keeping myself busy with other things even though I want to make all these informative posts for you. With PsA, the nature of the game is patience. So it will just give me time to do it bit by bit. Of course, I'm not a mega-patient person. Maybe a couple will pop up here or there.

It's supposed to be warm the next few days. Getting up to the mid 80s. That will let me do some things - maybe. Gah, feels like my whole life is a freaking maybe right now. These are the days that really start to get to me. I have to hang in there. I know that the day will pass and a new will bring different possibilities my way. Or maybe it's just the hope that it will. For now, I'm off to let my hands rest a little. Really been thinking about getting dragonspeak for the computer now that my left hand is pretty  much turning into a lobster claw. I am struggling with the idea because it means the damned arthritis is winning in my mind. Yeah, I know that it's not really true but in my mind, it is. Patches has been feeling the weather shifting as well. He's been having dry skin itchies and his winter coat coming in isn't make it any better. Poor little guy. I think we're going to veg on the couch until it warms completely and then maybe a little outside time.

Until next time,
Kay

Quote of the Day

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
 
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Hurt. Cry. Repeat.

Day three of flare. This is beginning to really get on my nerves severely. I know that I should be prepared for the weather changes. I mean, I've been here forever and know it's going to happen. But it just seems to catch me by surprise. Gah! I just hate being limited even more than I already am. I just want PsA, pain, fibro and all the others to stop taking stuff away from me. Without being said, I'm going to take a day away from the computer and try to rest my hands. Maybe that will be helpful to me getting back into the grove.

Have a great day wherever you are.
Until next time,
Kay

Quote of the Day

Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them. 

~ Unknown

On it goes.

Day two of a really bad flare. Not too sure that it's going to ease up anytime soon. Our weather is going back into the warm temps which means that my body won't have time to adjust and will be inflammed more. Unfortunately for me, that means that I'll be hurting for a while yet. Yes, I have pain medication but when the pain is this constant, it's hard to get under control. Most often, I just deal with it and go on. It's one of the downfalls of not having what you need. That's just life.

I have noticed this morning that my left hand is starting to act like my right hand. The knuckle joining the middle finger to the hand has become the PsA's next target. I guess that means I'm going to end up with hands like lobster claws. Praying that it's just because of the flare and will go back to normal after the weather settles. We're supposed to have nice weather this week. I'm hoping I'll get to enjoy it some. Let's see, plans for the day. I'm going to spend a little while catching up some records for Ancestry.com as I try to help them key/review documents to be searched. It's a way to make myself feel useful nowadays. More than likely I won't be able to do a lot of them. I just think that every little bit helps. For the past couple of years, I've been really into working on my family tree. It's like a puzzle and the people are the pieces. Kind of fascinating to read some of the correspondences from over 200 years ago. Besides that, I'll probably just continue to crochet. I've got to get these projects done. Maybe I'll show them off once they're completed.

Hope today is a good one, dear reader, wherever you may be.
Until next time,
Kay

Quote of the Day

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. 

~ C. S. Lewis

Owie

No big blog today at all. My hands are too stiff to let me type much right now. The temp dropped really low and is taking its time going back up today. So, I'm off to rest these fingers. Back to regular schedule tomorrow. I hope.

Have a great Sunday.
Until next time,
Kay

Quote of the Day

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
 

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Welcome October!!!

Yep, this one's up a little late. I'm just taking it easy this weekend so I thought I'd put the posts up when I could. Today's been a lazy day for us here. The temperature dropped really low last night. I had to pile on the blankets  on my bed. Didn't want to put the heat on unless we had to. That very well may be the case tonight as the temp is supposed to go all the way to freezing. Too cold for just blankets!! Other than that, I'm doing ok. Feeling stiff and swollen. I think that's mostly due to the weather right now. Nothing else has changed in the past few weeks.

Yesterday wasn't a very productive day either. The constant change has really thrown a wrench into my plans. Just as my body gets used to the colder temps, we get a warm front that makes it seem like summer again. After a few days, it's back to fall/winter. *sighs* Mother Nature, please deal with your menopause. It hurts so much otherwise. At any rate, I did manage to spend sometime just relaxing with my pup. We were actually able to play for a bit before my joints said that I needed to get up off the floor. Can't do that too often or I end up looking like a turtle who's flat on its back. I managed to work on my crochet and I'm hoping to get a few projects done before the end of the year. We'll see. I truly think that's becoming my motto.

Today is my day to try and get computer stuff done. My hands are letting me type and I'm going to make the best of it. When I can't, it's off to crochetland or bookland. Oh, let's be wild and say both. Yes, I know. It's all so exciting. I'm afraid to push myself to do too much because I know that if I do, I won't get out of bed the next day. Frustrating isn't the word for how I find it half the time. So, I'm off to finish my computer stuff. Hope you all have a great weekend. More informative posts to come next week!

Until next time,
Kay

Quote of the Day

It is foolish to postpone enjoyment of your ordinary life until you are more successful, more secure, or more loved than you are today. 

~ Timothy Ray Miller