forward...you know the rest.
Unfortunately, the weather's doing its up/down thing again. I was just getting settled with the colder temps and then we warmed back up. Yesterday, I didn't have the energy to write. Today is looking a little better but I'm not going to push it. Hopefully, I will be able to keep up a little something each day for a little bit. My hands are swollen but thankfully, my feet are playing nice this go round. My fingertips are even tender. To top it off, my psoriasis wants to join the party by making me feel like I'm itching all over. Busting out the heavy duty lotion and taking it easy. I'm going to just do a little crochet and mostly read today. Not going to push myself past the stopping point. I'd pay too high a price for it in the long run. I sincerely wish a good day/evening for everyone.
Until next time,
Kay
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Easing up
Still not 100% but I'm slowly getting better. Of course, if I wait five minutes, the weather will change again. Then we'll be back at square one. I'm able to do a little more typing today. Although this is a short blog, I'm hoping to have some better ones for the following week. We'll just have to see how it goes. I'm not going to push myself and then have to take more time to rest because of it.
This flare has been a fairly frustrating one. Since it involved my hands, everything I attempted doing this past week has brought extra pain. Even just touching a glass the wrong way hurt because my fingers were so swollen and tender. Today, they're still a bit swollen but manageable. I am hopeful that this respite lasts long enough to finish a few things. So with that, I also wish you all a great day/evening.
Until next time,
Kay
This flare has been a fairly frustrating one. Since it involved my hands, everything I attempted doing this past week has brought extra pain. Even just touching a glass the wrong way hurt because my fingers were so swollen and tender. Today, they're still a bit swollen but manageable. I am hopeful that this respite lasts long enough to finish a few things. So with that, I also wish you all a great day/evening.
Until next time,
Kay
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Continued crappy days
The weather has got to calm down and decide whether it's spring, summer or winter! Just when I get used to it, the weather takes another drastic change. Back to bed and heat therapy for my hands. I'm hoping these rest periods will let me get a few things done. Then I shall be back to the usual annoyance levels. Hope your day/evening is a great one!
Until next time,
Kay
Until next time,
Kay
Friday, January 27, 2012
Not doing well
This is one of those times when I haven't been well enough to sit here and put something together. My stockpile of posts is empty at the moment so I am afraid that I'll just have to apologize for not really having anything today. My hands have decided that they want to be the weakest links in my body. I'm off for a day of rest.
Until next time,
Kay
Until next time,
Kay
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Bit o' News
Lack of ZZZs May Fuel Appetite ~ http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=153956
Study Shows How Stress Triggers Immune System ~ http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=153899
Treating Diabetes, Depression Together May Make Sense ~ http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=153805
Genes May Give Clues to Severe Form of Lupus ~ http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=153717
Could the Key to Cancer Be Patterns of Chromosome Abnormality? ~ http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/240681.php
Magic Mushrooms For Depression ~ http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/240713.php
Psoriatic Arthritis - New Drug Offers Relief ~ http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/240646.php
New Blood Test for Rheumatoid Arthritis ~ http://www.ivanhoe.com/channels/p_channelstory.cfm?storyid=28629&channelid=CHAN-100001
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Realizations
*sighs*
I made a promise to be honest when I started this blog back up. Honest about my life and how this disease makes an impact on it. I was going to do these interesting, informative blogs that would maybe help someone speak with their doctor about the symptoms that they may be having. The last few posts I've attempted and/or published haven't been so informative as they have been diary-like. I'm not sure if that's what was supposed to have happened all along or not.
Truth be told, I have thought recently about stopping again. I still have the desire to post things. I'm just not sure that anyone wants to read when I'm depressed or when I'm having a bad day. Thanks in large part to my various diseases, I have a lot of those days. One thing or another sets me off and for hours, days or weeks, I struggle to be that upbeat person again. I mean, I was doing fine yesterday. Giggly and having a good time, I laughed with my mom on the phone and just had a good day until some stupid little thing made me sad. I can't remember what it was now but all of a sudden, I was missing my brother and my grandmother. They've both passed on from this earthly place. I know that part's normal - the missing of them. I tried to think of the good things and it only made it worse for about two hours. I just wanted to be able to talk to them again. I needed to hear their voices telling me it would all be okay and we'll get through this. Kinda silly, huh?
It took me a long while to clear my thoughts and just really think about what I'm doing here. I do want to get information on symptoms, treatments, and the like out there for people. But I also want to tell how it hurts me, how it keeps me from doing the things I took for granted. It's important that people realize that Psoriatic Arthritis or Fibromyalgia aren't just words in a medical book somewhere or just the answers to questions on a test. These diseases have faces because they are embodied within people - people like me. So if my blogs turn out to be depressing for a day or two or I sound like I'm bouncing all over the place due to Fibro fog, it's just a part of my life I deal with every single day. It's my world. I don't get a vacation from it. So, I guess this means that informative posts or ramblings of a foggy woman, I'll keep blogging. One day at a time.
Until next time,
Kay
I made a promise to be honest when I started this blog back up. Honest about my life and how this disease makes an impact on it. I was going to do these interesting, informative blogs that would maybe help someone speak with their doctor about the symptoms that they may be having. The last few posts I've attempted and/or published haven't been so informative as they have been diary-like. I'm not sure if that's what was supposed to have happened all along or not.
Truth be told, I have thought recently about stopping again. I still have the desire to post things. I'm just not sure that anyone wants to read when I'm depressed or when I'm having a bad day. Thanks in large part to my various diseases, I have a lot of those days. One thing or another sets me off and for hours, days or weeks, I struggle to be that upbeat person again. I mean, I was doing fine yesterday. Giggly and having a good time, I laughed with my mom on the phone and just had a good day until some stupid little thing made me sad. I can't remember what it was now but all of a sudden, I was missing my brother and my grandmother. They've both passed on from this earthly place. I know that part's normal - the missing of them. I tried to think of the good things and it only made it worse for about two hours. I just wanted to be able to talk to them again. I needed to hear their voices telling me it would all be okay and we'll get through this. Kinda silly, huh?
It took me a long while to clear my thoughts and just really think about what I'm doing here. I do want to get information on symptoms, treatments, and the like out there for people. But I also want to tell how it hurts me, how it keeps me from doing the things I took for granted. It's important that people realize that Psoriatic Arthritis or Fibromyalgia aren't just words in a medical book somewhere or just the answers to questions on a test. These diseases have faces because they are embodied within people - people like me. So if my blogs turn out to be depressing for a day or two or I sound like I'm bouncing all over the place due to Fibro fog, it's just a part of my life I deal with every single day. It's my world. I don't get a vacation from it. So, I guess this means that informative posts or ramblings of a foggy woman, I'll keep blogging. One day at a time.
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
Real life isn’t always going to be perfect or go our way, but the recurring acknowledgment of what is working in our lives can help us not only to survive but surmount our difficulties.
~ Sarah Ban Breathnach
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
I'm thankful for...
With being sick, I've been really down in the dumps. I've been trying to keep myself focused on being upbeat and smiling. Unfortunately, it hasn't really been helpful as I wanted it to be. I have energy but no ability to do anything. When I feel like I may be able to do some small things, I have no energy. It's eternally frustrating. Truly, it's a never ending cycle. So, instead of staying blah about everything, I thought I'd be thankful.
I'm thankful for my family and friends. They have managed to keep me going at times when all I thought of was stopping. The love they give keeps me waddling along - one step at a time.
I'm thankful for my husband. He has been my rock during so many bumpy times that I can't wait for the smooth roads. If it wasn't for his faith in me, I don't think I'd be as strong as I am sometimes.
I'm thankful for the medicines I am able to afford. They help me get around when I can and do the small things, sometimes big things.
I'm thankful for the wonderful doctors that I've been blessed to have care for me. Not everyone finds a good doctor right away. However, I'm extremely blessed and thankful that I have some very knowledgeable and compassionate doctors.
I'm thankful for my faith. It's in those deep, dark moments when I'm alone with no one to turn to that my faith holds me close and keeps me from doing something I shouldn't. Just when I think there's no other way, all doors closed and sealed tight, I feel the breeze of that opening and I am grateful, thankful.
This dark, gray time will pass. If I were to keep going, I feel as though I'd have a long list. It would be a list of what really mattered, not what I don't have. I think that's the point. I just wanted to remind myself that I have a lot even if it doesn't appear that way. Maybe, maybe my day won't be so bad after all.
Until next time,
Kay
I'm thankful for my family and friends. They have managed to keep me going at times when all I thought of was stopping. The love they give keeps me waddling along - one step at a time.
I'm thankful for my husband. He has been my rock during so many bumpy times that I can't wait for the smooth roads. If it wasn't for his faith in me, I don't think I'd be as strong as I am sometimes.
I'm thankful for the medicines I am able to afford. They help me get around when I can and do the small things, sometimes big things.
I'm thankful for the wonderful doctors that I've been blessed to have care for me. Not everyone finds a good doctor right away. However, I'm extremely blessed and thankful that I have some very knowledgeable and compassionate doctors.
I'm thankful for my faith. It's in those deep, dark moments when I'm alone with no one to turn to that my faith holds me close and keeps me from doing something I shouldn't. Just when I think there's no other way, all doors closed and sealed tight, I feel the breeze of that opening and I am grateful, thankful.
This dark, gray time will pass. If I were to keep going, I feel as though I'd have a long list. It would be a list of what really mattered, not what I don't have. I think that's the point. I just wanted to remind myself that I have a lot even if it doesn't appear that way. Maybe, maybe my day won't be so bad after all.
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
Nothing is permanent in this wicked world. Not even our troubles.
Monday, January 23, 2012
More Crafty-ness!
Since I'm still not feeling well, I thought I'd post a few more projects that I've done. As I've said before, I'm no pro when it comes to doing crochet. Even though I learned a few basic stitches quite a long time ago, I've never thought to learn any of the more complex stitches and patterns until recently. A lot of my earlier projects were all single or double crochet in rows. No granny squares, no circles and definitely no hats. So, I'm pretty happy that I've met some awesome friends who took pity on me to teach me. I also am thankful that I've discovered a couple of people who put together very easy-to-follow videos. The first one I found was on Youtube and is called 'The Art of Crochet' at the time. Now, it's known as 'Crochet Geek'. The lady responsible for all the wonderful videos is named Teresa. She is very patient and thorough in her step-by-step explanations. Take a gander at her blog ( http://crochet-mania.blogspot.com/ ) or her Youtube channel ( http://www.youtube.com/user/tjw1963 ).
On to the projects! First up is a set of two-toned pot holders that I made during Christmas time in 2010. Along with the two colored ones, I also did a couple of sets of single colored ones. The pattern really wasn't a pattern. It was just me goofing around with the yarn. But isn't that how it usually happens? I made two "panels" of each color using my Tunisian crochet hook. For the length, I just stopped at what would cover my hand plus 2-3 inches. Yes, a few of the recipients have longer/larger hands than I.
Once I had a total of 4 panels (2 of each color), I took one black and one red to make each of the pot holders. I used the single crochet stitch to secure the panels together. For one set, I used the red and then black on the other. Once I had the panels secured on three sides, I single crocheted around the edges of the fourth side. I did that for quite a few rounds until I felt comfortable enough that it was the right length. Before tying off, I made a small chain into a loop and secured it on one side.
Next we have a purple basket liner that I whipped up for a friend of mine. She was holding a bake sale and several other fundraisers in our area for her cousin's medical needs. I was asked if I could come up with something simple that would fit a certain size of basket. Of course, I agreed to try. We used purple because it's the color for Cystic Fibrosis awareness. It's also the color for Lupus and Fibromyalgia awareness. So I hit all the bases in one swoop! Below is a picture of the final product.
Below is a close-up view of the pattern. I had found a pattern for a scarf in one of my many project books and just adapted it to a smaller size. It is pretty much done with double crochet in the body of the liner. The edging is done in single crochet. In fact, I just may adapt this again for another blanket project I'm thinking about. Hmmm....
There ya have it! Just a couple more of my silly little projects. They really do keep my hands going. I just pop something on the tv and go to work with the yarn. Thanks to everyone who helps feed my yarn addiction! Without you, it wouldn't be possible!
Until next time,
Kay
On to the projects! First up is a set of two-toned pot holders that I made during Christmas time in 2010. Along with the two colored ones, I also did a couple of sets of single colored ones. The pattern really wasn't a pattern. It was just me goofing around with the yarn. But isn't that how it usually happens? I made two "panels" of each color using my Tunisian crochet hook. For the length, I just stopped at what would cover my hand plus 2-3 inches. Yes, a few of the recipients have longer/larger hands than I.
Once I had a total of 4 panels (2 of each color), I took one black and one red to make each of the pot holders. I used the single crochet stitch to secure the panels together. For one set, I used the red and then black on the other. Once I had the panels secured on three sides, I single crocheted around the edges of the fourth side. I did that for quite a few rounds until I felt comfortable enough that it was the right length. Before tying off, I made a small chain into a loop and secured it on one side.
Next we have a purple basket liner that I whipped up for a friend of mine. She was holding a bake sale and several other fundraisers in our area for her cousin's medical needs. I was asked if I could come up with something simple that would fit a certain size of basket. Of course, I agreed to try. We used purple because it's the color for Cystic Fibrosis awareness. It's also the color for Lupus and Fibromyalgia awareness. So I hit all the bases in one swoop! Below is a picture of the final product.
Below is a close-up view of the pattern. I had found a pattern for a scarf in one of my many project books and just adapted it to a smaller size. It is pretty much done with double crochet in the body of the liner. The edging is done in single crochet. In fact, I just may adapt this again for another blanket project I'm thinking about. Hmmm....
There ya have it! Just a couple more of my silly little projects. They really do keep my hands going. I just pop something on the tv and go to work with the yarn. Thanks to everyone who helps feed my yarn addiction! Without you, it wouldn't be possible!
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
The ultimate choice for a man, in as much as he is given to transcend himself, is to create or destroy, to love or to hate.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Feeling sick and bleh....still
Yep, still feeling sick with this sinus crap. I really don't know how long it's supposed to take to get over it. All I know for sure is that it's been a week since I first started coughing and snuffling. I had hoped to feel so much better by now. Ah well, at least it's just coughing and congestion, right?
I did go to the doctor instead of trying to wait it out. I have a bad habit of doing that - waiting things out. It's just something that comes naturally when you have to worry about a dozen things at one time. You have to make hard choices sometimes as an adult. Waiting out a cold versus having another bill taking money away from the other dozens of bills. Never. Ending. Cycle.
Since my husband was also sick, it just seemed smarter to go together and get well at the same time as close as possible. That way we're not spending the winter passing the germs back and forth. Not to mention the joy at my house not smelling like a Lysol factory all day, every day! So, the doctor said it was sinus congestion, swelling and infection. Just something that really is making its way around the area. Got some antibiotics and chicken noodle soup and I'm set!
Back to regular annoyance soon. I hope.
Until next time,
Kay
I did go to the doctor instead of trying to wait it out. I have a bad habit of doing that - waiting things out. It's just something that comes naturally when you have to worry about a dozen things at one time. You have to make hard choices sometimes as an adult. Waiting out a cold versus having another bill taking money away from the other dozens of bills. Never. Ending. Cycle.
Since my husband was also sick, it just seemed smarter to go together and get well at the same time as close as possible. That way we're not spending the winter passing the germs back and forth. Not to mention the joy at my house not smelling like a Lysol factory all day, every day! So, the doctor said it was sinus congestion, swelling and infection. Just something that really is making its way around the area. Got some antibiotics and chicken noodle soup and I'm set!
Back to regular annoyance soon. I hope.
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars.
~ Khalil Gibran
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Support systems
Whether you have a chronic illness or not, it just makes life so much easier if you have a great support system. These are the people who make the good times seem extraordinary and the bad times seem bearable. If you are having to deal with a chronic illness, then it's almost always a good idea to have at least two or three people who you can turn to. Believe me. Being isolated is not a good thing. Having people who will give you that kick in the butt to do something instead of hiding away is one of the greatest gifts. Yes, I'm speaking (or rather, writing) from experience.
If you ever want to know where you stand with people, be diagnosed with a severe, chronic illness. The room clears pretty quick. Sure, the people who you consider acquaintances will be on the fringes and that's okay. You weren't that close to them anyway. Coming in a little further, you'll find the friends and family members who just don't really know how to deal with the diagnosis or what, if anything, they can do to help. Sometimes just communicating a little with them will make a huge difference and sometimes they just stay on the outside. Closer still are the friends and family members who accept that you have what you have. They don't care about the limitations or symptoms and continue to want to be around you. They're not super close to you but they do make an honest effort to be in touch every now and again. The closest circle are those that become your rocks during all manner of storms. They're the ones who have seen you at your lowest and snottiest as well as at your highest. They encourage you, yell at you when you're giving up and then they carry you when you can't give anymore.
I've been blessed to have a few of all these in my life. They have each helped me in their own way and in their own time. Each and everyone of them have given me what I needed to get through a rough spot. I hope I have done the same for them. You may even find that some of the semi-close friends and the really close ones switch places. That's okay. I'm a firm believer that a person is placed in our lives for a specific reason at a specific time. Even though you have a chronic illness, this connection to other people keeps you in the present and from experience, can ease your pain.
In recent years, there has also been a huge boom in message boards, support groups and Facebook pages. Each of them can be a huge help in lessening the burden of a chronic illness in their own way. Sometimes it is a lot easy to explain how you're feeling to someone on the other side of the world through a posting rather meeting a friend and trying it in person. This can be a help in becoming comfortable in talking about your disease and its affects on you. The more comfortable you are, the easier it is to discuss it with those closest to you. That's just my opinion and I base it on my experience. If I hadn't found people who feel like I do or have the same hurts, I wouldn't have felt this comfortable putting this blog out there.
All in all, you can't carry the burden of a chronic illness alone for very long. The stress, pain and limitations will be overwhelming at some point. Reach out to those you trust. Don't be afraid to ask for help. The ones closest to you are wanting to help. It takes you telling them what to do for you at times. Do a simple online search for support groups and find one comfortable for you. Share the load with someone. It can make a big difference in your life, chronic illness or not.
Until next time,
Kay
If you ever want to know where you stand with people, be diagnosed with a severe, chronic illness. The room clears pretty quick. Sure, the people who you consider acquaintances will be on the fringes and that's okay. You weren't that close to them anyway. Coming in a little further, you'll find the friends and family members who just don't really know how to deal with the diagnosis or what, if anything, they can do to help. Sometimes just communicating a little with them will make a huge difference and sometimes they just stay on the outside. Closer still are the friends and family members who accept that you have what you have. They don't care about the limitations or symptoms and continue to want to be around you. They're not super close to you but they do make an honest effort to be in touch every now and again. The closest circle are those that become your rocks during all manner of storms. They're the ones who have seen you at your lowest and snottiest as well as at your highest. They encourage you, yell at you when you're giving up and then they carry you when you can't give anymore.
I've been blessed to have a few of all these in my life. They have each helped me in their own way and in their own time. Each and everyone of them have given me what I needed to get through a rough spot. I hope I have done the same for them. You may even find that some of the semi-close friends and the really close ones switch places. That's okay. I'm a firm believer that a person is placed in our lives for a specific reason at a specific time. Even though you have a chronic illness, this connection to other people keeps you in the present and from experience, can ease your pain.
In recent years, there has also been a huge boom in message boards, support groups and Facebook pages. Each of them can be a huge help in lessening the burden of a chronic illness in their own way. Sometimes it is a lot easy to explain how you're feeling to someone on the other side of the world through a posting rather meeting a friend and trying it in person. This can be a help in becoming comfortable in talking about your disease and its affects on you. The more comfortable you are, the easier it is to discuss it with those closest to you. That's just my opinion and I base it on my experience. If I hadn't found people who feel like I do or have the same hurts, I wouldn't have felt this comfortable putting this blog out there.
All in all, you can't carry the burden of a chronic illness alone for very long. The stress, pain and limitations will be overwhelming at some point. Reach out to those you trust. Don't be afraid to ask for help. The ones closest to you are wanting to help. It takes you telling them what to do for you at times. Do a simple online search for support groups and find one comfortable for you. Share the load with someone. It can make a big difference in your life, chronic illness or not.
Until next time,
Kay
Friday, January 20, 2012
Bittersweet Day
Happy birthday, Billy.
Hope it's a good one in Heaven.
This would have been my brother's 32nd birthday had he lived. Unfortunately, his body wasn't strong enough to fight through the complications of Lupus any longer than it already had. He had been diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus around the age of 14-15. The first trip to the hospital is still seared into my mind. I'm just not that ready to write about it right now. Not today. Today, he celebrates in Heaven with all the loved ones that I and my family have lost. I know he's having a grand time. I sometimes wish I could just peek in on that party. I'm going to do something nice for me today and just be with my pup and my family. Before I go, I'd like to share a portion of a poem that means a lot to me.
Until next time,
Kay
Ode to Intimations of Immortality
by William Wordsworth
What though the radiance that was once so bright,
be now forever taken from my sight.
Though nothing can bring back the hour
of splendor in the grass,
of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not,
rather find strength in what remains behind.
Hope it's a good one in Heaven.
This would have been my brother's 32nd birthday had he lived. Unfortunately, his body wasn't strong enough to fight through the complications of Lupus any longer than it already had. He had been diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus around the age of 14-15. The first trip to the hospital is still seared into my mind. I'm just not that ready to write about it right now. Not today. Today, he celebrates in Heaven with all the loved ones that I and my family have lost. I know he's having a grand time. I sometimes wish I could just peek in on that party. I'm going to do something nice for me today and just be with my pup and my family. Before I go, I'd like to share a portion of a poem that means a lot to me.
Until next time,
Kay
Ode to Intimations of Immortality
by William Wordsworth
What though the radiance that was once so bright,
be now forever taken from my sight.
Though nothing can bring back the hour
of splendor in the grass,
of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not,
rather find strength in what remains behind.
Quote of the Day
"It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."
~ Rose Kennedy
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Bit o' news
Blogging Can Help Calm Anxious Teens: Study ~ http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=153570
Exercise, Talk Therapy by Phone May Help Relieve Fibromyalgia Pain ~ http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=153584
Safety Tips for Cold-Weather Exercise ~ http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=153387
Helping Women To Identify Heart Attack Symptoms ~ http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/240297.php
In Overweight And Obese Adults A Diet Rich In Slowly Digested Carbs Reduces Markers Of Inflammation ~ http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/240259.php
Genetic Mutation Leads To Cold Allergy, Immune Deficiency And Autoimmunity ~ http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/240225.php
A Plan To Effectively Treat Psoriasis ~ http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/240187.php
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Sorry
If SOPA/PIPA pass, my blog may no longer be available. Please speak out against the censorship of the internet.
Until next time,
Kay
What is SOPA? http://money.cnn.com/2012/01/17/technology/sopa_explained/index.htm
Until next time,
Kay
What is SOPA? http://money.cnn.com/2012/01/17/technology/sopa_explained/index.htm
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Hate being sick
One of the things I do hate, yes hate, is being sick. I know I'm already sick by having a chronic illness. I'm talking about flu-like, nose-clogged, throat sore, voice-gone type of sick. Apparently there was some sort of "bug" going around the hubby's work and he decided it would be quite nice to share with those of us in the house. So, I'm sitting here chilling and then hot and no voice. Well, a little of a voice. Just squeakier than a rusted bolt.
Having an auto-immune disease already compromises your immune system. Many of the medications on the market also affect your body's ability to fight off infections or colds. It's extremely important to contact your doctor if you're taking one of those medicines because it can become serious quite easily. Since I'm just on an NSAID therapy for my arthritis, there's not much I need to worry about right now other than keeping myself from becoming bored.
So for, I'm off to drink more Sprite and eat some chicken noodle soup. Did I mention I hate being sick? Hope your week starts off much better.
Until next time,
Kay
Having an auto-immune disease already compromises your immune system. Many of the medications on the market also affect your body's ability to fight off infections or colds. It's extremely important to contact your doctor if you're taking one of those medicines because it can become serious quite easily. Since I'm just on an NSAID therapy for my arthritis, there's not much I need to worry about right now other than keeping myself from becoming bored.
So for, I'm off to drink more Sprite and eat some chicken noodle soup. Did I mention I hate being sick? Hope your week starts off much better.
Until next time,
Kay
Monday, January 16, 2012
Some crafty-ness for you
I've mentioned before that I try to do things to keep my hands moving. If I don't, they get really stiff and hard to move at all. Of course, if I use them too much, the same thing tends to happen. Dealing with any chronic illness is basically like walking a tightrope. You have to be aware of your limits. You have to push yourself just enough so that you feel accomplished but not so much that you feel so utterly wiped out the next day. I have an ever expanding list of people to make things for as well as patterns/stitches that I want to try. I just have to keep reminding myself that it's one stitch at a time, one project at a time. That is until I find the magic wand that's around here somewhere.
This yellow blanket was made for my grandmother. One of her favorite colors, I decided to make something that would be long enough for the nurses to tuck under her feet but not so wide that it would interfere. She was wheelchair bound at the time. This fit perfectly and she used it a lot. It's a reversible pattern. It looks the same on either side of the blanket. Though it was a simple pattern, it took me a couple months to get it done. Some days my hands just didn't want to work the crochet hook at anything other than a snail's pace.
This little purple number was a loose fitting coat that I made for my aunt's dog. The poor thing was getting cold going out to do its business because it was short haired. My little buddy, Patches, is modeling it in the second picture. The two straps meet around the dog's tummy and connect with velcro. I made it easy to get on/off because my aunt also has health issues. This way she doesn't have to spend a lot of time fiddling with it. On it goes and out the dog goes.
I've done a bunch of projects over the years. Unfortunately, I didn't start taking pictures of them until about six years ago or so. There were a few that I definitely wished that I had photographed to share. Lesson learned and I'll be sure to post them when I can. With the colder temperatures outside, it's awesome for me to have something keeping me busy. I just don't want to end up like Viola from Mama's Family and make everything out of yarn/crochet. Boy, did she come up with some doozies! Kleenex covers, toaster covers and even shorts! Not my style.
Wishing you all a good Monday!
Until next time,
Kay
This yellow blanket was made for my grandmother. One of her favorite colors, I decided to make something that would be long enough for the nurses to tuck under her feet but not so wide that it would interfere. She was wheelchair bound at the time. This fit perfectly and she used it a lot. It's a reversible pattern. It looks the same on either side of the blanket. Though it was a simple pattern, it took me a couple months to get it done. Some days my hands just didn't want to work the crochet hook at anything other than a snail's pace.
This little purple number was a loose fitting coat that I made for my aunt's dog. The poor thing was getting cold going out to do its business because it was short haired. My little buddy, Patches, is modeling it in the second picture. The two straps meet around the dog's tummy and connect with velcro. I made it easy to get on/off because my aunt also has health issues. This way she doesn't have to spend a lot of time fiddling with it. On it goes and out the dog goes.
I've done a bunch of projects over the years. Unfortunately, I didn't start taking pictures of them until about six years ago or so. There were a few that I definitely wished that I had photographed to share. Lesson learned and I'll be sure to post them when I can. With the colder temperatures outside, it's awesome for me to have something keeping me busy. I just don't want to end up like Viola from Mama's Family and make everything out of yarn/crochet. Boy, did she come up with some doozies! Kleenex covers, toaster covers and even shorts! Not my style.
Wishing you all a good Monday!
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
~ Helen Keller
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Winter is where?
Oh! Here it is! Where has you been, winter?
Needless to say, we've been having a very weird winter so far. During December, we had some mild temps and no snow on Christmas. That was kind of sad because I love seeing the trees and yards covered on Christmas Day. There's just a magical quality to it. I guess that comes from my childhood. Nevertheless, I love it - when I don't have to travel in it. Since around January 2nd, we've had some really strange weather. We were in the 60s (F) here in the Midwest. I won't lie and say that I didn't enjoy it. I'm also glad I had a few days reprieve on my heating bill. It just surprised me that we were having such wonderful weather and poor Texas and Alaska were getting hit with snowstorms! However, this is the Midwest. We have a saying that has proven itself time and time again.
"If you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes and it'll change."
Needless to say, winter is back in the Midwest. It's so making its presence known as well. We finally have that snowfall. No where near as much as Alaska, but it's enough to make people freak out while driving or grocery shopping. I don't necessarily have a problem with the snow. I have to take issue with the temps going up and down as they have been and the fluctuations in the barometric pressure. Both of those can determine whether I'll be able to do anything on that day or if I'll be taking my medication and huddling under my blankets. I have learned over the years that I need to have patience during these transition periods. I can't make myself go past my limits - not even a little bit. The cost of doing so is too painful for me to want to deal with. Once the weather starts to settle into a slight range (temps differing a few degrees instead of 20 or more), my body can adapt and I'll be able to move. I'll be slow and swollen but able to take care of a few things.
Wintertime also means that my psoriasis is joining in the fun of annoying me. I swear that my diseases pick on me so much because I pick on others. Anyway, because we have to have the heat on, my skin dries out quicker than in other seasons. I have the psoriasis on my scalp, both elbows and the front of both knees. Just after my diagnosis, I began to go through the list of over-the-counter medicinal shampoos and soaps to see if they would help. And they did - at first. I would have to change every few months to keep them working. With the support of my hubby and family, I sort of stopped worrying about the flakes so much. I still use dandruff/psoriasis shampoos and body washes that gently exfoliate my skin while moisturizing. I pat my skin dry instead of rubbing and that makes a big difference. I also try and keep my skin well lotioned throughout the winter. It does help the itchiness level to stay at low to medium.
I keep small lap blankets handy for my legs and feet. Usually I have pair of knit gloves with the fingers snipped off in my bedside table. I tried just using the gloves as they were but it did nothing but annoy me. So, off went their tips! Most of the time I try to really keep my hands moving during the winter. I really focus on doing the cross-stitch or crochet projects because they involve my hands and wrists. If I start to get a little stir-crazy, I'll pester the hubby or pup or even both. With that said, time to let my hands rest a little. Have a wonderful and warm weekend! Or if you're in the Southern Hemisphere, have a cool day!
Until next time,
Kay
Needless to say, we've been having a very weird winter so far. During December, we had some mild temps and no snow on Christmas. That was kind of sad because I love seeing the trees and yards covered on Christmas Day. There's just a magical quality to it. I guess that comes from my childhood. Nevertheless, I love it - when I don't have to travel in it. Since around January 2nd, we've had some really strange weather. We were in the 60s (F) here in the Midwest. I won't lie and say that I didn't enjoy it. I'm also glad I had a few days reprieve on my heating bill. It just surprised me that we were having such wonderful weather and poor Texas and Alaska were getting hit with snowstorms! However, this is the Midwest. We have a saying that has proven itself time and time again.
"If you don't like the weather, just wait five minutes and it'll change."
Needless to say, winter is back in the Midwest. It's so making its presence known as well. We finally have that snowfall. No where near as much as Alaska, but it's enough to make people freak out while driving or grocery shopping. I don't necessarily have a problem with the snow. I have to take issue with the temps going up and down as they have been and the fluctuations in the barometric pressure. Both of those can determine whether I'll be able to do anything on that day or if I'll be taking my medication and huddling under my blankets. I have learned over the years that I need to have patience during these transition periods. I can't make myself go past my limits - not even a little bit. The cost of doing so is too painful for me to want to deal with. Once the weather starts to settle into a slight range (temps differing a few degrees instead of 20 or more), my body can adapt and I'll be able to move. I'll be slow and swollen but able to take care of a few things.
Wintertime also means that my psoriasis is joining in the fun of annoying me. I swear that my diseases pick on me so much because I pick on others. Anyway, because we have to have the heat on, my skin dries out quicker than in other seasons. I have the psoriasis on my scalp, both elbows and the front of both knees. Just after my diagnosis, I began to go through the list of over-the-counter medicinal shampoos and soaps to see if they would help. And they did - at first. I would have to change every few months to keep them working. With the support of my hubby and family, I sort of stopped worrying about the flakes so much. I still use dandruff/psoriasis shampoos and body washes that gently exfoliate my skin while moisturizing. I pat my skin dry instead of rubbing and that makes a big difference. I also try and keep my skin well lotioned throughout the winter. It does help the itchiness level to stay at low to medium.
I keep small lap blankets handy for my legs and feet. Usually I have pair of knit gloves with the fingers snipped off in my bedside table. I tried just using the gloves as they were but it did nothing but annoy me. So, off went their tips! Most of the time I try to really keep my hands moving during the winter. I really focus on doing the cross-stitch or crochet projects because they involve my hands and wrists. If I start to get a little stir-crazy, I'll pester the hubby or pup or even both. With that said, time to let my hands rest a little. Have a wonderful and warm weekend! Or if you're in the Southern Hemisphere, have a cool day!
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.
~ Marie Beynon Ray
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Woohoo! Doctors!
This past week was a busy one for our household and doctors' offices. I had two appointments while my husband had one. Lucky goober. Anyway, my first appointment was with my lung doctor. Yeah, I know there's a technical term for him. I'm a simple person so I write/say how I would normally talk. To me, he'll always be a lung doctor. Whenever I go to see him, my anxiety revs up quite badly. I know it's an irrational thing and sometimes I can conquer it as I did on Monday. Sometimes I can't and end up rescheduling. I've had a therapist tell me that it's because I equate doctors with getting bad medical news ever since my brother was diagnosed with lupus back in the late 1990s. I'd most certainly agree with that theory.
I debated whether or not to go almost until the last minute on Monday. Eventually, I did go and glad I did. I was only in there a few minutes because everything turned out alright. My echo and lung pressure test results were good so there was no need to change anything. I'm just to call him if I begin to have any trouble with my breathing. All that worry for next to nothing. Why does my mind have to be so mean to me? I have no idea. Literally.
Wednesday was my day to see my internalist. The poor guy has to handle dang near everything that I have wrong with me. Fortunately he treated my brother, Billy, for the lupus and other complications. The doctor already knew a lot of my family's medical history. When it came time to treating me, we didn't have to spend a lot time doing the background stuff. I had the usual blood test for my blood thinner therapy and a test for my thyroid. Each of those were within range so it was off to see the doctor. We talked about what's happened over the past six months and a good bit about my depression. It felt really good to be able to be open with him about that.I thought for sure he'd just put me on some sort of medication. Instead he really listened and suggested that I continue with my blog, writing in a journal offline and just being aware of everything. If it worsens, then we'll talk about taking some therapy options including medicines. Overall, it was a very nice visit.
Thursday was the scary appointment. My husband had been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, Stage IV, back in 2005. He underwent eight and a half months of intense chemotherapy. After weathering all the effects of both the disease and the chemo, he was pronounced cancer free toward the end of 2005. Definitely a miracle in a lot of people's books. Ever since then, he's had to visit the cancer doctor every six months for blood work and follow-up appointments. No matter how many times he goes in there and comes out with good results, I still have high anxiety until I know he's okay. He'd be the first to admit that I annoy him greatly by asking a thousand questions. I just want to make sure he's okay and will be around for me to annoy. I'm very thankful to say that he's still doing great. No cancer still. He goes back again in six months. Yay!
It's very strange to have good office visits in a row like this. I've been giving thanks and knocking on wood ever since. Just don't want to take the chance, you know? In all honesty, I think it's just finally clicked with both my hubby and myself that we have to start taking better care of ourselves. We're not really kids anymore and our bodies aren't going to react like they used to back in the day. Just because I didn't make a list of resolutions to achieve this year doesn't mean that I didn't set goals for myself. I do want to continue on this path of taking good care of myself. I want to be around to see those I love achieve their own dreams. With that in mind, I'm going to eat a little better and move a little more. I just have to make sure not to run into another cabinet door or try falling up the stairs again. Have a great Saturday, everyone!
Until next time,
Kay
I debated whether or not to go almost until the last minute on Monday. Eventually, I did go and glad I did. I was only in there a few minutes because everything turned out alright. My echo and lung pressure test results were good so there was no need to change anything. I'm just to call him if I begin to have any trouble with my breathing. All that worry for next to nothing. Why does my mind have to be so mean to me? I have no idea. Literally.
Wednesday was my day to see my internalist. The poor guy has to handle dang near everything that I have wrong with me. Fortunately he treated my brother, Billy, for the lupus and other complications. The doctor already knew a lot of my family's medical history. When it came time to treating me, we didn't have to spend a lot time doing the background stuff. I had the usual blood test for my blood thinner therapy and a test for my thyroid. Each of those were within range so it was off to see the doctor. We talked about what's happened over the past six months and a good bit about my depression. It felt really good to be able to be open with him about that.I thought for sure he'd just put me on some sort of medication. Instead he really listened and suggested that I continue with my blog, writing in a journal offline and just being aware of everything. If it worsens, then we'll talk about taking some therapy options including medicines. Overall, it was a very nice visit.
Thursday was the scary appointment. My husband had been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, Stage IV, back in 2005. He underwent eight and a half months of intense chemotherapy. After weathering all the effects of both the disease and the chemo, he was pronounced cancer free toward the end of 2005. Definitely a miracle in a lot of people's books. Ever since then, he's had to visit the cancer doctor every six months for blood work and follow-up appointments. No matter how many times he goes in there and comes out with good results, I still have high anxiety until I know he's okay. He'd be the first to admit that I annoy him greatly by asking a thousand questions. I just want to make sure he's okay and will be around for me to annoy. I'm very thankful to say that he's still doing great. No cancer still. He goes back again in six months. Yay!
It's very strange to have good office visits in a row like this. I've been giving thanks and knocking on wood ever since. Just don't want to take the chance, you know? In all honesty, I think it's just finally clicked with both my hubby and myself that we have to start taking better care of ourselves. We're not really kids anymore and our bodies aren't going to react like they used to back in the day. Just because I didn't make a list of resolutions to achieve this year doesn't mean that I didn't set goals for myself. I do want to continue on this path of taking good care of myself. I want to be around to see those I love achieve their own dreams. With that in mind, I'm going to eat a little better and move a little more. I just have to make sure not to run into another cabinet door or try falling up the stairs again. Have a great Saturday, everyone!
Until next time,
Kay
Friday, January 13, 2012
Friday the 13th!
Break out the lucky rabbit's foot or whichever lucky talisman you have! It's Friday the 13th! Hide!
Okay, not really. Even with all the superstition, this day is just another day for me. Sometimes I find it's even a lucky day. With the weather changing back to colder temperatures again, I figured I'd do something a little different. I also wanted to try and break out of the funk that I've been posting about. A person can only take so much reading about down-in-the-dumps stuff before wanting to scream. On that note, just how did Friday the 13th become such a big deal?
Did you know that in our calendar there will always be at least one Friday the 13th? Any month that starts on a Sunday will have a Friday the 13th in it. So it's not uncommon to have more than one a year if the days line up that way. For 2012, there are three occurrences of this date (January, April, and July). So we'll have plenty of time to stock up before the next one comes our way. The exact beginning of the superstition has been debated over the years. No one can say conclusively that it was present in its entirety before the 19th century. That's when the deep rooted superstitions surrounding the day took off in a big way. The earliest known written reference in English was found in the biography of Gioachino Rossini in 1869. In 1907, a book was published by Thomas Lawson called Friday the Thirteenth. It told the story of a business man who was determined to crash the stock market on the day in question. Apparently it did well enough to warrant a film about the book.
There a few theories on the origin of superstition. Most think it's a combination of the number '13' and Friday. Each are thought to be unlucky in their own right. Friday is thought to be unlucky since it's thought that Jesus was crucified on a Friday. The thought took a stronger hold after The Canterbury Tales came out in the 14th century. Many professions also consider the day unlucky to travel or begin new projects. The number 13 has its own set of unlucky superstitions. Within numerology, twelve is said to be a complete number. Therefore 13 throws that completeness out the window and out of balance. There are other instances given to show why 13 is considered unlucky including;
In recent history, people have drawn connections between Friday the 13th and the Knights Templar. The Knights Templar were a group of men known as the "warrior monks" of Christ. During the Crusades, these men were the fighting elite that took on a number of battles against those who didn't practice Christianity. Within 200 years, these men became powerful in political influence as well as fighting. It's been thought that to keep the Knights Templar from being a political threat, a pope demanded they be put to death. This wiping out of Knights Templar is thought to have taken place on a Friday the 13th.
Yet there are a lot of people, such as myself, who don't consider the day or number to be anything other than a day and a number. In fact, I'm pretty much just going to kick back and do a little crochet today. That way I can stay away from black cats and won't have to walk under ladders. Have a great day!
Until next time,
Kay
Sources
http://urbanlegends.about.com/cs/historical/a/friday_the_13th.htm
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1879288,00.html
Okay, not really. Even with all the superstition, this day is just another day for me. Sometimes I find it's even a lucky day. With the weather changing back to colder temperatures again, I figured I'd do something a little different. I also wanted to try and break out of the funk that I've been posting about. A person can only take so much reading about down-in-the-dumps stuff before wanting to scream. On that note, just how did Friday the 13th become such a big deal?
Did you know that in our calendar there will always be at least one Friday the 13th? Any month that starts on a Sunday will have a Friday the 13th in it. So it's not uncommon to have more than one a year if the days line up that way. For 2012, there are three occurrences of this date (January, April, and July). So we'll have plenty of time to stock up before the next one comes our way. The exact beginning of the superstition has been debated over the years. No one can say conclusively that it was present in its entirety before the 19th century. That's when the deep rooted superstitions surrounding the day took off in a big way. The earliest known written reference in English was found in the biography of Gioachino Rossini in 1869. In 1907, a book was published by Thomas Lawson called Friday the Thirteenth. It told the story of a business man who was determined to crash the stock market on the day in question. Apparently it did well enough to warrant a film about the book.
There a few theories on the origin of superstition. Most think it's a combination of the number '13' and Friday. Each are thought to be unlucky in their own right. Friday is thought to be unlucky since it's thought that Jesus was crucified on a Friday. The thought took a stronger hold after The Canterbury Tales came out in the 14th century. Many professions also consider the day unlucky to travel or begin new projects. The number 13 has its own set of unlucky superstitions. Within numerology, twelve is said to be a complete number. Therefore 13 throws that completeness out the window and out of balance. There are other instances given to show why 13 is considered unlucky including;
- In both Christian and Norse stories, a banquet of 13 people/gods led to trouble for one of them. In Christianity, Jesus was betrayed by Judas after the last supper. There were 13 people present. In Norse legends, the 12 gods were having a banquet in Valhalla. Loki, the trickster god, wasn't invited and decided to crash the party. After inciting a fight, one of the gods killed a beloved god. Therefore, it's thought that the number of guests should not end at 13 or there would be some sort of misfortune.
- Ancient Egyptians considered the number 13 connected to afterlife. Life for them unfolded into 12 sections or stages. When they reached 13, it's thought that they were in their eternal peace and doing what they were sent to do in the afterlife. It's thought that the connection between the number and death comes from this theory.
In recent history, people have drawn connections between Friday the 13th and the Knights Templar. The Knights Templar were a group of men known as the "warrior monks" of Christ. During the Crusades, these men were the fighting elite that took on a number of battles against those who didn't practice Christianity. Within 200 years, these men became powerful in political influence as well as fighting. It's been thought that to keep the Knights Templar from being a political threat, a pope demanded they be put to death. This wiping out of Knights Templar is thought to have taken place on a Friday the 13th.
Yet there are a lot of people, such as myself, who don't consider the day or number to be anything other than a day and a number. In fact, I'm pretty much just going to kick back and do a little crochet today. That way I can stay away from black cats and won't have to walk under ladders. Have a great day!
Until next time,
Kay
Sources
http://urbanlegends.about.com/cs/historical/a/friday_the_13th.htm
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1879288,00.html
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Changes through the years
With over a week already gone in this new year, I figure I can still get away with a little more reflection before I hear all the boos and "save it for next year" taunts. In coming up with topics for this blog, I have pretty much been going by what's happened to me along the way. Honestly, these diseases have affected my life on a lot of levels that I didn't really expect or realize until it was a little too late to do anything about it. Looking back to what I was able to do and comparing it to what I'm currently able to do is something that I don't undertake very often. If I did think about it more often, I would most certainly have a greater problem with depression than I currently do. Then again, a little reflection isn't always a bad thing.
As I was thinking about myself from about 10 years ago, I can see some of the differences right from the start. Growing up, I was never really a girlie girl. I mean, I could get dressed up and glammed as well as the next girl. Just didn't make it much of a priority. However, I did dress up a lot more often than I do now. It has to be a very special occasion for me to go all out. A lot of my style choices now are made on the basis of comfort and the amount of difficulty/ease I will have when dressing. Sad to say that I'm in my 30s and need help to get dressed some days. Every once in a while I can handle dressing alone. I can even tackle a shirt with buttons at times. Reality is that's not every day at all. Nine times out of ten I'm found sitting in my "comfy clothes," lounge pants with elastic/drawstring waist and a slouchy, baggy shirt. I've mentioned before that going out takes a bit of planning. It does involve a little bit of pain as well as I do have troubles.
Before my hands began changing shape, I was able to wear just about anything. Shirts that buttoned, shoes that tied - you know, the usual cute things you could pick up when out and about. You don't give them much thought other than an "oh, this looks cute!" and into the cart it goes. Now, it takes a little bit of thought before something gets put into the cart. I have my good days where I can do buttons - if the buttons are medium to large in size. Tiny buttons are no longer an option. Most days I reach for my pants with elastic or drawstring waists. Fumbling with the buttons on jeans is too much for my fingers. Shoes are normally some sort of slip-on such as flats or even Crocs. *gasp* Yeah, I know. But they are so comfortable on extra swelling days. Definitely no more pantyhose. They are so not missed. I can remember the torture of having to wear them to church on Sunday mornings whenever I stayed with my grandmother. Though I love her dearly, she always insisted on them. With tightness of the nylon, it's hard to stretch and pull them onto my legs. Anklet socks are about as much as I wear when I need to. Most times I'm barefoot even though my rheumy would smack me. Okay, verbally. I just can't stand socks and shoes for some reason.
Hair and make-up are also limited for me. If it's a definite special occasion, then I will try to pull my hair back with a barrette or scrunchie (most often the hair's in a scrunchie anyway). Little make-up to me involves some eyeshadow and lipstick. Recently, I got bored at home and decided to "play" dress-up. Let's just say that I'm glad I did it only because it showed me that I couldn't do the elaborate styles anymore. And that's okay. Personally, I like myself without all the fanciness. I am who I am. Today, I'm very much comfortable with that. I also know that a simple internet search can show a wide range of tools to assist me if I wanted to do anything else. There are grippers that can help you put on your shoes. Beauty tools that even hold make-up brushes for you if needed. I even saw some make-up brushes, fingernail clippers, etc with padded handles on them. I'm pretty interested in those.
Even though I can't do some of the things I used to, there's still a lot that I CAN do. It comes down to adapting and overcoming the obstacles. What are some of the problems that you are facing? Be honest with yourself so that you can find the right tool for whatever you need. It's not always easy to accept that you have to have help. Try to think of it as just another way to achieve your goal. Thinking outside the box, if you like. Just don't give up. Keep going. Keep adapting. With my brain fog, it's hard to stay focused and on point some days. I'm sure it is easily noticed in some of my blog posts. Please forgive me and don't be afraid to ask questions that aren't answered or give me topics you'd like to know more about in the comments below.
Until next time,
Kay
As I was thinking about myself from about 10 years ago, I can see some of the differences right from the start. Growing up, I was never really a girlie girl. I mean, I could get dressed up and glammed as well as the next girl. Just didn't make it much of a priority. However, I did dress up a lot more often than I do now. It has to be a very special occasion for me to go all out. A lot of my style choices now are made on the basis of comfort and the amount of difficulty/ease I will have when dressing. Sad to say that I'm in my 30s and need help to get dressed some days. Every once in a while I can handle dressing alone. I can even tackle a shirt with buttons at times. Reality is that's not every day at all. Nine times out of ten I'm found sitting in my "comfy clothes," lounge pants with elastic/drawstring waist and a slouchy, baggy shirt. I've mentioned before that going out takes a bit of planning. It does involve a little bit of pain as well as I do have troubles.
Before my hands began changing shape, I was able to wear just about anything. Shirts that buttoned, shoes that tied - you know, the usual cute things you could pick up when out and about. You don't give them much thought other than an "oh, this looks cute!" and into the cart it goes. Now, it takes a little bit of thought before something gets put into the cart. I have my good days where I can do buttons - if the buttons are medium to large in size. Tiny buttons are no longer an option. Most days I reach for my pants with elastic or drawstring waists. Fumbling with the buttons on jeans is too much for my fingers. Shoes are normally some sort of slip-on such as flats or even Crocs. *gasp* Yeah, I know. But they are so comfortable on extra swelling days. Definitely no more pantyhose. They are so not missed. I can remember the torture of having to wear them to church on Sunday mornings whenever I stayed with my grandmother. Though I love her dearly, she always insisted on them. With tightness of the nylon, it's hard to stretch and pull them onto my legs. Anklet socks are about as much as I wear when I need to. Most times I'm barefoot even though my rheumy would smack me. Okay, verbally. I just can't stand socks and shoes for some reason.
Hair and make-up are also limited for me. If it's a definite special occasion, then I will try to pull my hair back with a barrette or scrunchie (most often the hair's in a scrunchie anyway). Little make-up to me involves some eyeshadow and lipstick. Recently, I got bored at home and decided to "play" dress-up. Let's just say that I'm glad I did it only because it showed me that I couldn't do the elaborate styles anymore. And that's okay. Personally, I like myself without all the fanciness. I am who I am. Today, I'm very much comfortable with that. I also know that a simple internet search can show a wide range of tools to assist me if I wanted to do anything else. There are grippers that can help you put on your shoes. Beauty tools that even hold make-up brushes for you if needed. I even saw some make-up brushes, fingernail clippers, etc with padded handles on them. I'm pretty interested in those.
Even though I can't do some of the things I used to, there's still a lot that I CAN do. It comes down to adapting and overcoming the obstacles. What are some of the problems that you are facing? Be honest with yourself so that you can find the right tool for whatever you need. It's not always easy to accept that you have to have help. Try to think of it as just another way to achieve your goal. Thinking outside the box, if you like. Just don't give up. Keep going. Keep adapting. With my brain fog, it's hard to stay focused and on point some days. I'm sure it is easily noticed in some of my blog posts. Please forgive me and don't be afraid to ask questions that aren't answered or give me topics you'd like to know more about in the comments below.
Until next time,
Kay
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Deep breath.....
and release. After posting about what I was feeling, I do have to admit that I do feel better. Thanks to a few wonderful friends, I also joined a group online where I felt safe enough to "talk" about the jumbledness I was feeling. I know that I couldn't just go into a group of people and start pouring out what I was feeling. For whatever reason, the connection between my brain and mouth doesn't always work as well as I want it to. In my opinion, I tend to sound silly as I try to explain the little stuff instead of getting to the point. Quite similar to Sheldon on 'The Big Bang Theory' television show. Well, I'm not a genius but you get the point.
I'm definitely grateful that I able to express myself better through writing. Whether I am using the computer, typewriter (oh yeah, old school) or simple pen and paper (way old school), I can get my ideas and words just right. If I have to say them first, I'm screwed. Public speaking has almost always been my enemy. Probably will always be since I tend to avoid it unless I absolutely have to. It is possible for me to speak to small groups of about 10 or so. Going any higher and it's xanax central. Okay, that's exaggerating it a bit. It's still hard for me to do it anyway. It's why I tend to email, message, chat and write letters instead of talking on the phone or in person.
In all honesty, it's just another part of the puzzle that is me. Writing does help me get some of my messed up feelings out of my head. My journals are filled with my doubts, sadness and what I think are failures. When they're not taking up space in my head, I honestly feel better and clearer. If I try and stay focused on the positive, I'm able to keep some of the depression away. I don't really want to be on another medication since I already take enough to be annoyed with them. Not to mention the fact that the last time I was on an anti-depressant, I just didn't feel like me. I felt odd. Yeah, I know. Me? Odd? But it's true. I seemed like I was faking it more than living it. With time, I probably would have adjusted to the medication. Unfortunately it was my body's decision to revolt against the meds. I had to stop taking it because my heart would race uncontrollably whenever I would take the pill. So I have had to find ways to battle the dang depression without medication.
At first, I would just retreat from everyone and everything. I would delve into my world of words and not come up for air, food, anything. After my brother passed away, I was powerless against the depression. It literally swallowed me alive. For about two and a half years, I drifted. I relied on the anxiety medication to just get me through the hours that I needed to be awake. I barely remember much of anything that's not written down in my journal. It took my family circling the wagons and checking on me a lot for me to wake up from the fog. I have been making my way back to my path ever since. Even today, I'm learning how to cope or deal with situations that I used to run from. I hate confrontation and yet, I hate being used more. So I have had to learn to make a boundary and enforce it. I am still learning to recognize when I'm not being a good person or when I'm hurting others. It's not easy to say that I'm wrong. But if I want others to treat me well, I have to fix myself.
So that's kind of been what's on my mind for a couple of days. Nothing too exciting other than a bunch of reflection and trying to become a better me. I don't know if it's just because of the newly started year or because I'll be hitting the dreaded "middle aged" title this year on my birthday. Either, I'm sort of glad to be making these decisions. I don't want to be hurtful. Never have wanted that. Now is a chance for me to be the person I want to be. Going to finish the day playing with my pup and finishing up a crochet project for a friend of mine. Medical updates probably at the end of the week. We'll see how it works out.
Until next time,
Kay
I'm definitely grateful that I able to express myself better through writing. Whether I am using the computer, typewriter (oh yeah, old school) or simple pen and paper (way old school), I can get my ideas and words just right. If I have to say them first, I'm screwed. Public speaking has almost always been my enemy. Probably will always be since I tend to avoid it unless I absolutely have to. It is possible for me to speak to small groups of about 10 or so. Going any higher and it's xanax central. Okay, that's exaggerating it a bit. It's still hard for me to do it anyway. It's why I tend to email, message, chat and write letters instead of talking on the phone or in person.
In all honesty, it's just another part of the puzzle that is me. Writing does help me get some of my messed up feelings out of my head. My journals are filled with my doubts, sadness and what I think are failures. When they're not taking up space in my head, I honestly feel better and clearer. If I try and stay focused on the positive, I'm able to keep some of the depression away. I don't really want to be on another medication since I already take enough to be annoyed with them. Not to mention the fact that the last time I was on an anti-depressant, I just didn't feel like me. I felt odd. Yeah, I know. Me? Odd? But it's true. I seemed like I was faking it more than living it. With time, I probably would have adjusted to the medication. Unfortunately it was my body's decision to revolt against the meds. I had to stop taking it because my heart would race uncontrollably whenever I would take the pill. So I have had to find ways to battle the dang depression without medication.
At first, I would just retreat from everyone and everything. I would delve into my world of words and not come up for air, food, anything. After my brother passed away, I was powerless against the depression. It literally swallowed me alive. For about two and a half years, I drifted. I relied on the anxiety medication to just get me through the hours that I needed to be awake. I barely remember much of anything that's not written down in my journal. It took my family circling the wagons and checking on me a lot for me to wake up from the fog. I have been making my way back to my path ever since. Even today, I'm learning how to cope or deal with situations that I used to run from. I hate confrontation and yet, I hate being used more. So I have had to learn to make a boundary and enforce it. I am still learning to recognize when I'm not being a good person or when I'm hurting others. It's not easy to say that I'm wrong. But if I want others to treat me well, I have to fix myself.
So that's kind of been what's on my mind for a couple of days. Nothing too exciting other than a bunch of reflection and trying to become a better me. I don't know if it's just because of the newly started year or because I'll be hitting the dreaded "middle aged" title this year on my birthday. Either, I'm sort of glad to be making these decisions. I don't want to be hurtful. Never have wanted that. Now is a chance for me to be the person I want to be. Going to finish the day playing with my pup and finishing up a crochet project for a friend of mine. Medical updates probably at the end of the week. We'll see how it works out.
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.
~ Mohandas K. Gandhi
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Going through the big "D" and don't mean Dallas
The past few days I have really felt bad. Despite the wonderfully warm and usual high temps we've had, I have been in stiffness, achy mode. I think it's due in large part to the fact depression has reared its head again. For the past 8 years or so, I've really been aware that I fall into bouts of depression pretty easily. With all that's happened in my life, it wouldn't be so hard to believe that I'd be depressed from time to time. The biggest step I've taken in quite a long while is to even admit that I have a problem with it. I don't know if I'll take anything for it at this point. However, I will be talking to my doctor about it when I see him next.
Believe it or not, depression still carries a major amount of stigma in today's society. Even with all the ads on tv about Prozac, Wellbutrin and other anti-depressants, talking about having the disease is a no-no for a lot of people. Mental illnesses get such huge amounts of shame in our society. I love the campaign that states you take care of illnesses in the body, why not illnesses of the mind? There should be no shame in reaching out for help when your depressed or experiencing any symptom of mental illness. Of course, not everyone is going to agree with me and that's fine. I'm happy to have found people who do.
This month is hard on me because it contains my brother's birthday. I know that his passing has affected me a huge amount because he was one of my closest friends as well as the first person close to me to pass away. It was hard to watch him slip away and then deal with the grief that followed. Some of that grief still gets me even today. Subconsciously, I suspect part of my depression is due to that. Combine the stresses and pressures of our economy, the weight of obligations and the pain and limitations of a chronic illness together and you'll have a pretty thorough recipe for depression. Most times I'm able to fight it off by making the decision to be upbeat. I have a little book of affirmations and quotes that I read through when I start to feel down. It does work well except for the times when the depression is deeper than first thought.
Over the last couple of years, I've been trying to become more aware of myself and my moods. I really am fighting the idea of being on anymore medications. I practically take a pharmacy already. My doctors have all told me at different times that if I feel that I need something, don't hesitate to tell them. While I appreciate their willingness to help me, I want to be able to feel and only use medication as a last resort. For too long I have ran away from the things that might have caused me discomfort and hurt. They come back time and time again. I believe in my heart that now is the time to face them, deal with the issues and find a way to move past them to learn whatever lesson I'm supposed to. I honestly couldn't have done this 2 or 3 years ago. Now I think I'm strong enough. It definitely helps to have a good support system to get me through the ups and downs. I'm super glad that my husband is willing to look past my mood swings and just be with me. It took me a long time to be open enough with him about how I feel. Still takes a lot to admit to him when I'm going back down the depression road.
It's not easy to live with depression. Every time I try to force a smile or a happy-go-lucky attitude, I feel like I'm faking. That makes it worse and thus the cycle continues downward. Sometimes I can tell the signs of depression coming on for me. When I recognize them, I'll stay away from things that I know will make it worse for me. Things like the news, sappy movies or movies about someone being sick, books containing any kind of medical situation and/or death and sad songs of all kinds are just a few. Most times I will watch cartoons or funny movies to distract me from feeling sad. I have a journal that I keep offline. I turn to it when I feel the pressure/weight bearing down on me. I can trust the pen and paper to just let me ramble without judgement. Once I empty myself of the thoughts/feelings, I feel better. Since I love to write, that journal is often times my lifeline.
Millions of people do experience or have experienced depression at some point in their lives. It is more of a rarity to find someone who hasn't had a moment or two of the blues. It's nothing to be ashamed of or to hide away. Keeping the feelings tucked deep down only allows the feelings to grow and fester like an unwanted weed. You have to pluck it out to keep yourself free to grow. If you're experiencing depression, you're not alone in the least. I, for one, am right there with you. Don't be afraid to reach out to someone for help. That's what I have learned to do. It's hard - so very hard at times. Yet, it's worth it. You are worth it. You matter in this world.
Until next time,
Kay
Believe it or not, depression still carries a major amount of stigma in today's society. Even with all the ads on tv about Prozac, Wellbutrin and other anti-depressants, talking about having the disease is a no-no for a lot of people. Mental illnesses get such huge amounts of shame in our society. I love the campaign that states you take care of illnesses in the body, why not illnesses of the mind? There should be no shame in reaching out for help when your depressed or experiencing any symptom of mental illness. Of course, not everyone is going to agree with me and that's fine. I'm happy to have found people who do.
This month is hard on me because it contains my brother's birthday. I know that his passing has affected me a huge amount because he was one of my closest friends as well as the first person close to me to pass away. It was hard to watch him slip away and then deal with the grief that followed. Some of that grief still gets me even today. Subconsciously, I suspect part of my depression is due to that. Combine the stresses and pressures of our economy, the weight of obligations and the pain and limitations of a chronic illness together and you'll have a pretty thorough recipe for depression. Most times I'm able to fight it off by making the decision to be upbeat. I have a little book of affirmations and quotes that I read through when I start to feel down. It does work well except for the times when the depression is deeper than first thought.
Over the last couple of years, I've been trying to become more aware of myself and my moods. I really am fighting the idea of being on anymore medications. I practically take a pharmacy already. My doctors have all told me at different times that if I feel that I need something, don't hesitate to tell them. While I appreciate their willingness to help me, I want to be able to feel and only use medication as a last resort. For too long I have ran away from the things that might have caused me discomfort and hurt. They come back time and time again. I believe in my heart that now is the time to face them, deal with the issues and find a way to move past them to learn whatever lesson I'm supposed to. I honestly couldn't have done this 2 or 3 years ago. Now I think I'm strong enough. It definitely helps to have a good support system to get me through the ups and downs. I'm super glad that my husband is willing to look past my mood swings and just be with me. It took me a long time to be open enough with him about how I feel. Still takes a lot to admit to him when I'm going back down the depression road.
It's not easy to live with depression. Every time I try to force a smile or a happy-go-lucky attitude, I feel like I'm faking. That makes it worse and thus the cycle continues downward. Sometimes I can tell the signs of depression coming on for me. When I recognize them, I'll stay away from things that I know will make it worse for me. Things like the news, sappy movies or movies about someone being sick, books containing any kind of medical situation and/or death and sad songs of all kinds are just a few. Most times I will watch cartoons or funny movies to distract me from feeling sad. I have a journal that I keep offline. I turn to it when I feel the pressure/weight bearing down on me. I can trust the pen and paper to just let me ramble without judgement. Once I empty myself of the thoughts/feelings, I feel better. Since I love to write, that journal is often times my lifeline.
Millions of people do experience or have experienced depression at some point in their lives. It is more of a rarity to find someone who hasn't had a moment or two of the blues. It's nothing to be ashamed of or to hide away. Keeping the feelings tucked deep down only allows the feelings to grow and fester like an unwanted weed. You have to pluck it out to keep yourself free to grow. If you're experiencing depression, you're not alone in the least. I, for one, am right there with you. Don't be afraid to reach out to someone for help. That's what I have learned to do. It's hard - so very hard at times. Yet, it's worth it. You are worth it. You matter in this world.
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
Getting a dog is like getting married. It teaches you to be less self-centered, to accept sudden, surprising outbursts of affection, and not to be upset by a few scratches on your car.
~ Will Stanton
Monday, January 9, 2012
Bit o' News
Since I have some doctor's appointments, I figured that I would do a bit of a news article round-up that you all can read at your leisure. Yes, I know that it technically is cheating as a post. I think it's better than me just popping on here to leave a couple of sentences about not being able to fit something in on time. So, I'm thinking once every couple of weeks would be okay to use this if I need to. All other days you will just have to deal with my writing. Muwhahahaha! Without further ado, ze news!
Please keep in mind that I'm not a doctor of any kind nor am I endorsing any specific treatment or medication. I'm just putting together some really interesting articles that may provide some talking points for you and your doctors.
Until next time,
Kay
Discovery May Lead To Safer Treatments For Asthma, Allergies And Arthritis ~ http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/239560.php
Rheumatoid Joint Disease - Mindfulness Exercises Help Significantly ~ http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/239685.php
Engineered Botulism Toxins Could Have Broader Role In Medicine ~ http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/238457.php
Fibromyalgia Risk Greater Among Females With Poor Sleeping Habits ~ http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/237772.php
Third Genetic Link to Osteoarthritis Discovered ~ http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/08/110825123817.htm
Please keep in mind that I'm not a doctor of any kind nor am I endorsing any specific treatment or medication. I'm just putting together some really interesting articles that may provide some talking points for you and your doctors.
Until next time,
Kay
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Lazy Sunday
Today is going to be my lazy day. A day that holds nothing important or necessary outside of the little everyday things. I'm going to just focus on my crochet projects and just relax. Or rather, that's the plan. We'll just have to see how it goes. Often times, my plans for the day do not go as I want them to and it can be so dang stressful. Sometimes I literally throw my hands up - okay, I just lift them in front of me - and say done with it. After this past week, I'm pretty sure that I'll find a way to stay relaxed!
I probably wouldn't be so tired if I had really paced myself over the holidays. Our weather has been on a roller coaster for the past month (give or take a few days). One day, the sun's shining and it's around 50 degrees. Sort of odd for the month of January here to be that warm, but I am not going to start complaining now! The drop in temperature for the next day is where my main source of pain and stiffness comes from. It would be in the 40s-50s range and then drop down into the 20s-30s range. With windchill, it could seem even colder. So it was no big surprise that I had several bad days during the Christmas and New Year holidays. It was pretty bad over Christmas to the point that the only place I got to visit was my sister-in-law's house because it was so close to my home. I didn't even get to see my own family because of the lovely PsA/Fibro flare. New Year's weekend was a laid-back one for me as well. I spent time with my family and spoke with some friends. Overall, I just did whatever I felt was fun.
Tuesday, I did push myself a little more than usual because I was presented with an opportunity to meet a very close friend who I have known for over a decade. She and I have never met although we're pretty much as close as sisters. She was going to be close to my town to do some shopping. In all honesty, I probably shouldn't have gone. I'm so glad that I made myself do it! Not only did I get to meet her and her boyfriend, but we got to sit down for a meal and just talk for a while. Coming home, I couldn't stop smiling. It felt really awesome to just make plans and go. Yeah, I did hurt afterward. I can't lie about that. That moment was worth it. I would do it again in a heartbeat. That one little act of spontaneity made me feel like I didn't have these stupid diseases for a small window of time. It also made me realize that anything is possible - even something that I thought was taken away from me by the PsA, fibro or APS. So, in your face, auto-immune diseases!!!
The rest of the week was just stressful for a bunch of reasons. With the unfortunate reality that being an adult means I have to have responsibilities, the toll is sometimes a greater one for me. Stress, no matter how small, can quickly develop into a huge deal and knock me flat on my butt. No matter how hard I work at trying to minimize the stress, sometimes it just KO's me. With all that in mind, I think I'm just going to be lazy today. I'm going to go with the flow - as long as it's not down a waterslide. Cold weather's going to be back and I don't want to freeze. My puppy needs my attention as does my many projects that the hubby says is cluttering his computer room. Keep in mind, that room was my craft room first. *winks*
May your Sunday be a relaxing one and the coming week be a less stressful, less painful one.
Until next time,
Kay
I probably wouldn't be so tired if I had really paced myself over the holidays. Our weather has been on a roller coaster for the past month (give or take a few days). One day, the sun's shining and it's around 50 degrees. Sort of odd for the month of January here to be that warm, but I am not going to start complaining now! The drop in temperature for the next day is where my main source of pain and stiffness comes from. It would be in the 40s-50s range and then drop down into the 20s-30s range. With windchill, it could seem even colder. So it was no big surprise that I had several bad days during the Christmas and New Year holidays. It was pretty bad over Christmas to the point that the only place I got to visit was my sister-in-law's house because it was so close to my home. I didn't even get to see my own family because of the lovely PsA/Fibro flare. New Year's weekend was a laid-back one for me as well. I spent time with my family and spoke with some friends. Overall, I just did whatever I felt was fun.
Tuesday, I did push myself a little more than usual because I was presented with an opportunity to meet a very close friend who I have known for over a decade. She and I have never met although we're pretty much as close as sisters. She was going to be close to my town to do some shopping. In all honesty, I probably shouldn't have gone. I'm so glad that I made myself do it! Not only did I get to meet her and her boyfriend, but we got to sit down for a meal and just talk for a while. Coming home, I couldn't stop smiling. It felt really awesome to just make plans and go. Yeah, I did hurt afterward. I can't lie about that. That moment was worth it. I would do it again in a heartbeat. That one little act of spontaneity made me feel like I didn't have these stupid diseases for a small window of time. It also made me realize that anything is possible - even something that I thought was taken away from me by the PsA, fibro or APS. So, in your face, auto-immune diseases!!!
The rest of the week was just stressful for a bunch of reasons. With the unfortunate reality that being an adult means I have to have responsibilities, the toll is sometimes a greater one for me. Stress, no matter how small, can quickly develop into a huge deal and knock me flat on my butt. No matter how hard I work at trying to minimize the stress, sometimes it just KO's me. With all that in mind, I think I'm just going to be lazy today. I'm going to go with the flow - as long as it's not down a waterslide. Cold weather's going to be back and I don't want to freeze. My puppy needs my attention as does my many projects that the hubby says is cluttering his computer room. Keep in mind, that room was my craft room first. *winks*
May your Sunday be a relaxing one and the coming week be a less stressful, less painful one.
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
Scared and sacred are spelled with the same letters. Awful proceeds from the same root word as awesome. Terrify and terrific. Every negative experience holds the seed of transformation.
~ Alan Cohen
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Yay! Hobbies!
So, being stuck at home most of the time can drive a person to do some weird or crazy things. Or in my case, to severe boredom. This can be a definite bad thing for those who have to live with me. Believe me, I can make a person go from happy to annoyed in under 10 seconds if I try hard enough. Still not sure how my husband puts up with it. Guess it's just part of his job of being married to me.
To keep me from being a nuisance, I try to channel the energy and creativity into different projects. Before PsA really took hold of my body, I was a fairly active person. I could get up and go wherever I wanted or needed with little or no problems. If I felt the urge to go to the local library and spend the day lost in the aisles, I very well could. I didn't have to plan out how long I could be away before I would have to use the restroom or if I would have to take medications. I wasn't a very sports-oriented person. Although I do enjoy watching them on television, I wasn't involved in those activities. But if I wanted to go to the park and walk around or engage in some form of exercise, I didn't have to pace myself. I didn't have to worry about paying for all that activity the next day either.
Looking back, I can see where I was forced to discover other ways of keeping myself out of trouble. I still write (obviously) and read any time I get a chance. My greatest love is the written word. It has helped me through a lot of dark hours when all I could was hold a book in my lap. My output has decreased due to the way my hands are now as well as the fact I was trying to come to terms with my brother's passing. Since I was homebound a lot of the time, I turned my attention to crafts that I could do while sitting. With the PsA in my feet, I'm not able to stand for long periods of time. My hands are more deformed than years past but I can still get them going if I push myself. I found myself doing cross-stitch projects to keep my fingers and wrists limber. It wasn't long until I learned to crochet. For many years I had wanted to learn how to knit and/or crochet. I think the homemade blankets, scarves, etc are so beautiful and made with large amounts of love. I just had to learn!
I was tricked into crocheting, if I'm going to honest about it. A few years ago, my husband and I went down to one of our local department stores to pick up a few things. I decided to get another cross-stitch project. You know, to keep me out of trouble. My lovely other half decides that he's going to get a few skeins of yarn, some crochet hooks and a guidebook on teaching one's self to crochet. Of course, I should have known that he didn't have time to really sit and crochet. He did tell me about his aunt's projects and it piqued my interest. So I ended up playing around with the guidebook and presto! I began crocheting. It wasn't until a couple of years ago when I finally decided to learn more than just the basic stitches. Just last year I figured out how to do granny squares and almost have making hats down. It's not easy at times with the way my hands are, but I will admit that it keeps them moving.
To keep my mind moving, I often play games online that test my memory and the like. Sometimes I go for the mindless games but I like to challenge myself. When we have the money, my husband will often get a book of puzzles or logic problems. We'll take turns with book, working on the puzzles until we get frustrated with them. It just helps keep my mind from going all foggy. I mean, the brain fog is bad enough. I want to keep it from completely taking over. Within the past couple of years, I've also began to work on my family history. I've flirted with the idea since before my brother passed. It's just become a true interest and passion recently. In my family, there's a handful of people that have done a tremendous amount of work already. I am hoping to contribute a little if I can.
What do you find yourself doing to keep busy? Do you find it helps to have something to do? I know that there are a great many who have PsA or fibro who still work, have children, etc. But I think you have to have something that you alone enjoy. Something that makes it all worthwhile some days when the pain, stiffness and depression are too much. In my heart, I honestly think that if I can keep my mind distracted from focusing on the pain, I don't that bad that moment. I don't have to take as much medication and feel all wonky. Hobbies can be a great way to keep us active, physically or mentally. Take time for you. Do something to make you smile at least once in a while.
Until next time,
Kay
To keep me from being a nuisance, I try to channel the energy and creativity into different projects. Before PsA really took hold of my body, I was a fairly active person. I could get up and go wherever I wanted or needed with little or no problems. If I felt the urge to go to the local library and spend the day lost in the aisles, I very well could. I didn't have to plan out how long I could be away before I would have to use the restroom or if I would have to take medications. I wasn't a very sports-oriented person. Although I do enjoy watching them on television, I wasn't involved in those activities. But if I wanted to go to the park and walk around or engage in some form of exercise, I didn't have to pace myself. I didn't have to worry about paying for all that activity the next day either.
Looking back, I can see where I was forced to discover other ways of keeping myself out of trouble. I still write (obviously) and read any time I get a chance. My greatest love is the written word. It has helped me through a lot of dark hours when all I could was hold a book in my lap. My output has decreased due to the way my hands are now as well as the fact I was trying to come to terms with my brother's passing. Since I was homebound a lot of the time, I turned my attention to crafts that I could do while sitting. With the PsA in my feet, I'm not able to stand for long periods of time. My hands are more deformed than years past but I can still get them going if I push myself. I found myself doing cross-stitch projects to keep my fingers and wrists limber. It wasn't long until I learned to crochet. For many years I had wanted to learn how to knit and/or crochet. I think the homemade blankets, scarves, etc are so beautiful and made with large amounts of love. I just had to learn!
I was tricked into crocheting, if I'm going to honest about it. A few years ago, my husband and I went down to one of our local department stores to pick up a few things. I decided to get another cross-stitch project. You know, to keep me out of trouble. My lovely other half decides that he's going to get a few skeins of yarn, some crochet hooks and a guidebook on teaching one's self to crochet. Of course, I should have known that he didn't have time to really sit and crochet. He did tell me about his aunt's projects and it piqued my interest. So I ended up playing around with the guidebook and presto! I began crocheting. It wasn't until a couple of years ago when I finally decided to learn more than just the basic stitches. Just last year I figured out how to do granny squares and almost have making hats down. It's not easy at times with the way my hands are, but I will admit that it keeps them moving.
To keep my mind moving, I often play games online that test my memory and the like. Sometimes I go for the mindless games but I like to challenge myself. When we have the money, my husband will often get a book of puzzles or logic problems. We'll take turns with book, working on the puzzles until we get frustrated with them. It just helps keep my mind from going all foggy. I mean, the brain fog is bad enough. I want to keep it from completely taking over. Within the past couple of years, I've also began to work on my family history. I've flirted with the idea since before my brother passed. It's just become a true interest and passion recently. In my family, there's a handful of people that have done a tremendous amount of work already. I am hoping to contribute a little if I can.
What do you find yourself doing to keep busy? Do you find it helps to have something to do? I know that there are a great many who have PsA or fibro who still work, have children, etc. But I think you have to have something that you alone enjoy. Something that makes it all worthwhile some days when the pain, stiffness and depression are too much. In my heart, I honestly think that if I can keep my mind distracted from focusing on the pain, I don't that bad that moment. I don't have to take as much medication and feel all wonky. Hobbies can be a great way to keep us active, physically or mentally. Take time for you. Do something to make you smile at least once in a while.
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.
~ James Baldwin
Friday, January 6, 2012
Who wants a follow-up?
Because of all the lovely diseases that I have, I have a few doctors. I only had one doctor to begin with - my family doctor. When my psoriatic arthritis continued to worm its way through my body, I was sent to my rheumatologist. That was pretty much it for several years until I had my little trip to the emergency room. After finding the blood clot in my lung, I was sent to an internalist and a pulmonologist. I see these doctors every six months or so to make sure that everything is going well. I have my appointment with the pulmonologist coming up and don't expect any major changes. Next week I have my follow-up with my internalist.
Because of the medications I have to take and how some of the diseases affect my body, I have to be on top of the blood tests. That doesn't always happen when I want it to. Unfortunately, there are a number of times when I spend a couple of hours to get ready only to find myself having to reschedule the appointment. No matter how much I try to pace myself, sometimes the pain, stiffness and limitations are just too much. I have been told (and know from experience) that sometimes it is best to let the doctor see you in that state. He or she will have a clearer picture of how you're being affected by the disease or what problems the treatment is giving you. That's why I push myself until it's just painfully obvious that I can't do it. Okay, part of that is also being stubborn as all get out, but we won't dwell on that for now.
I do talk a lot about being your own advocate and being openly honest with your doctor(s) here in this blog of mine. Deep down, I feel that it's important that the doctors know all the pieces of the puzzle before they try arranging the ones that don't fit just right or replacing the frayed pieces. How can they try to help you if they don't know what the problems are? No, I don't place blind faith in a single doctor either. I have had the fortunate blessing of having some very wonderful doctors who care for me even today. While there are a number of really good, caring doctors out there, I also know there are those on the over end of the spectrum. All things in balance. That's why it's important for you to know yourself and to seek out a second, third, fourth, etc opinion if need be. Don't be afraid to ask questions or speak up about something you don't understand. Most importantly, do NOT be afraid to find a doctor that you feel comfortable with and trust to his or her job well. This person is supposed to work with you to make you feel better. It's a give and take kind of relationship where trust is very important.
The flip side of this is not to do the doctor's job for him or her. With the internet, we have the blessing of a wealth of knowledge at our fingertips. I honestly see nothing wrong with researching a disease or symptoms to gain an idea of what may be wrong. It's okay to do that and ask the doctor what if, could we test? I would ask that you just keep in mind that the doctors have a protocol to follow in making a diagnosis for certain diseases. They shouldn't just throw medications or treatments at you without taking the time to run blood tests, x-rays, and other tests that will help confirm or deny what may be wrong with you.
Yes, this is pretty much just my opinion and experiences with doctors. As a person who has lived with having to spend the last 16 years going to doctors for one reason or another, I can only offer what has worked for me. I know it seems that I put a lot of emphasis on doctors and speaking with them. I just know that finding the right one can really change a person's life for the better if it's the right fit. I hope that it will do the same for you and yours. The bottom line is that a doctor can help improve your way of life after finding a diagnosis. They are only one part of the equation. You have to take responsibility for your health as well. If you and your doctor(s) work together, there's no telling what you may be able to accomplish! You have a disease. The disease doesn't have you.
Until next time,
Kay
Because of the medications I have to take and how some of the diseases affect my body, I have to be on top of the blood tests. That doesn't always happen when I want it to. Unfortunately, there are a number of times when I spend a couple of hours to get ready only to find myself having to reschedule the appointment. No matter how much I try to pace myself, sometimes the pain, stiffness and limitations are just too much. I have been told (and know from experience) that sometimes it is best to let the doctor see you in that state. He or she will have a clearer picture of how you're being affected by the disease or what problems the treatment is giving you. That's why I push myself until it's just painfully obvious that I can't do it. Okay, part of that is also being stubborn as all get out, but we won't dwell on that for now.
I do talk a lot about being your own advocate and being openly honest with your doctor(s) here in this blog of mine. Deep down, I feel that it's important that the doctors know all the pieces of the puzzle before they try arranging the ones that don't fit just right or replacing the frayed pieces. How can they try to help you if they don't know what the problems are? No, I don't place blind faith in a single doctor either. I have had the fortunate blessing of having some very wonderful doctors who care for me even today. While there are a number of really good, caring doctors out there, I also know there are those on the over end of the spectrum. All things in balance. That's why it's important for you to know yourself and to seek out a second, third, fourth, etc opinion if need be. Don't be afraid to ask questions or speak up about something you don't understand. Most importantly, do NOT be afraid to find a doctor that you feel comfortable with and trust to his or her job well. This person is supposed to work with you to make you feel better. It's a give and take kind of relationship where trust is very important.
The flip side of this is not to do the doctor's job for him or her. With the internet, we have the blessing of a wealth of knowledge at our fingertips. I honestly see nothing wrong with researching a disease or symptoms to gain an idea of what may be wrong. It's okay to do that and ask the doctor what if, could we test? I would ask that you just keep in mind that the doctors have a protocol to follow in making a diagnosis for certain diseases. They shouldn't just throw medications or treatments at you without taking the time to run blood tests, x-rays, and other tests that will help confirm or deny what may be wrong with you.
Yes, this is pretty much just my opinion and experiences with doctors. As a person who has lived with having to spend the last 16 years going to doctors for one reason or another, I can only offer what has worked for me. I know it seems that I put a lot of emphasis on doctors and speaking with them. I just know that finding the right one can really change a person's life for the better if it's the right fit. I hope that it will do the same for you and yours. The bottom line is that a doctor can help improve your way of life after finding a diagnosis. They are only one part of the equation. You have to take responsibility for your health as well. If you and your doctor(s) work together, there's no telling what you may be able to accomplish! You have a disease. The disease doesn't have you.
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
Some of the best lessons we ever learn we learn from our mistakes and failures. The error of the past is the wisdom of the future.
~ Tryon Edwards
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Easing Fibro
In the previous post, I wrote about what Fibromyalgia is considered to be, what may have caused it, and a lot of the basic information of the disease. This time around I want to focus on some of the many treatments that help those who suffer from Fibromyalgia, or Fibro as it's also known. I'm not a doctor so I don't advise anyone to just go out and do these things. Please take the time to speak with your doctor and discuss which treatments may be beneficial to you. Not all of the treatments work for everyone. As I stated previously, each person is affected by Fibro in different ways. Be vocal about your pain and treatments with your doctor.
After your diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, your doctor may have you start medications that will help ease the discomfort and ache. Some of those medications include some over-the-counter remedies such as Tylenol or Advil. Again, it depends on the level of the patient's discomfort or pain. If the level is severe enough, your doctor may prescribe something stronger. There are a number of pain medications and muscle relaxers on the market nowadays. They each come with their one specific side effects and help to ease pain in different manners. Because I'm not a doctor, you should really discuss your pain management goals with your physician. The pain medication that has helped me the most with both the pain of my psoriatic arthritis and fibro has been Tramadol (brand name Ultram). It's not among the very strong meds, but it does work well for me. As my arthritis got worse, I have had to add a stronger pain pill for the nights when I can't sleep.
There are now other medications on the market for helping fibro patients. Medications that have been used to treat depression (Cymbalta) and seizures (Lyrica) have been used effectively as well. In fact, Lyrica is touted to be the first medication approved by the FDA to help treat the symptoms of fibromyalgia. With the increase of education and awareness, there has been an small step forward in the number of medicines. It is worth repeating that finding the right medication or combination of medications requires you to pay attention to your body and how it feels. You have to be your own advocate and be active in finding what works the best for you.
There are alternative therapies that can be used to ease the stiffness, aches and just general blah feeling that fibro leaves behind. I know that a number of the medications may cause a feeling of fuzziness or cause a person to be drowsy/sleepy to the point all they want to do is sleep. That can definitely help a fibro patient get the much needed rest but it also takes time away from the fun stuff! So, here are a few things that you can try. Though it is difficult at times, physical activity such as exercising, yoga, and tai chi can help reduce the stiffness and pain of fibro. Keeping the body limber and stretching the muscles will help keep you from feeling "stoved up". Exercising can also keep your stress level low. That can be a big help in reducing the intensity and length of your fibro flare.
Massages and acupuncture are other stress relievers from which a fibro sufferer may benefit. Many insurance companies cover these services as well. From having acupuncture in the past, I can that it did work wonders for me. After the first session, I was able to sleep through the night. I couldn't tell you the last time that had happened before the acupuncture! Unfortunately for me, life happened and I can no longer afford it right now. I would still recommend looking into either massage or acupuncture. In the same vein of therapy, your doctor may also suggest receiving physical therapy provided by a professional therapist in order to help with the fibro. Physical therapy may include stretching and other exercises to keep you moving.
Overall, trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle will be a huge plus in the fight against fibro. Trying to keep your stress level down. Eating a wide variety of healthy foods. Exercising. Watching your caffeine intake since it can be a trigger (something that initiates or intensifies a fibro flare). A person with fibro must also learn to slow the pace at which they do things. It's so very easy to do too much when you're feeling good. The next day will bring more pain and stiffness and cause you to not do much of anything. It becomes a balancing act - doing the things we need/want to do while taking time to care for ourselves. Life with fibro isn't easy and it does hurt. There's no denying that. However, there is no reason to let fibro or any disease take away our good times.
You can about fibro in more detail, including other treatment suggestions, at these links;
Mayo Clinic ~ http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fibromyalgia/DS00079
Fibromyalgia Network ~ http://www.fmnetnews.com/fibro-basics/symptoms
US National Library of Medicine ~ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001463/
Feel free to leave any questions or comments below. The more we share, the more we learn.
Until next time,
Kay
After your diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, your doctor may have you start medications that will help ease the discomfort and ache. Some of those medications include some over-the-counter remedies such as Tylenol or Advil. Again, it depends on the level of the patient's discomfort or pain. If the level is severe enough, your doctor may prescribe something stronger. There are a number of pain medications and muscle relaxers on the market nowadays. They each come with their one specific side effects and help to ease pain in different manners. Because I'm not a doctor, you should really discuss your pain management goals with your physician. The pain medication that has helped me the most with both the pain of my psoriatic arthritis and fibro has been Tramadol (brand name Ultram). It's not among the very strong meds, but it does work well for me. As my arthritis got worse, I have had to add a stronger pain pill for the nights when I can't sleep.
There are now other medications on the market for helping fibro patients. Medications that have been used to treat depression (Cymbalta) and seizures (Lyrica) have been used effectively as well. In fact, Lyrica is touted to be the first medication approved by the FDA to help treat the symptoms of fibromyalgia. With the increase of education and awareness, there has been an small step forward in the number of medicines. It is worth repeating that finding the right medication or combination of medications requires you to pay attention to your body and how it feels. You have to be your own advocate and be active in finding what works the best for you.
There are alternative therapies that can be used to ease the stiffness, aches and just general blah feeling that fibro leaves behind. I know that a number of the medications may cause a feeling of fuzziness or cause a person to be drowsy/sleepy to the point all they want to do is sleep. That can definitely help a fibro patient get the much needed rest but it also takes time away from the fun stuff! So, here are a few things that you can try. Though it is difficult at times, physical activity such as exercising, yoga, and tai chi can help reduce the stiffness and pain of fibro. Keeping the body limber and stretching the muscles will help keep you from feeling "stoved up". Exercising can also keep your stress level low. That can be a big help in reducing the intensity and length of your fibro flare.
Massages and acupuncture are other stress relievers from which a fibro sufferer may benefit. Many insurance companies cover these services as well. From having acupuncture in the past, I can that it did work wonders for me. After the first session, I was able to sleep through the night. I couldn't tell you the last time that had happened before the acupuncture! Unfortunately for me, life happened and I can no longer afford it right now. I would still recommend looking into either massage or acupuncture. In the same vein of therapy, your doctor may also suggest receiving physical therapy provided by a professional therapist in order to help with the fibro. Physical therapy may include stretching and other exercises to keep you moving.
Overall, trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle will be a huge plus in the fight against fibro. Trying to keep your stress level down. Eating a wide variety of healthy foods. Exercising. Watching your caffeine intake since it can be a trigger (something that initiates or intensifies a fibro flare). A person with fibro must also learn to slow the pace at which they do things. It's so very easy to do too much when you're feeling good. The next day will bring more pain and stiffness and cause you to not do much of anything. It becomes a balancing act - doing the things we need/want to do while taking time to care for ourselves. Life with fibro isn't easy and it does hurt. There's no denying that. However, there is no reason to let fibro or any disease take away our good times.
You can about fibro in more detail, including other treatment suggestions, at these links;
Mayo Clinic ~ http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fibromyalgia/DS00079
Fibromyalgia Network ~ http://www.fmnetnews.com/fibro-basics/symptoms
US National Library of Medicine ~ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001463/
Feel free to leave any questions or comments below. The more we share, the more we learn.
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
Family quarrels are bitter things. They don't go by any rules. They're not like aches or wounds; they're more like splits in the skin that won't heal because there's not enough material.
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
So you have Fibro.
What in the world does that mean and what happens to the life you knew? Chances are you've seen the commercials on tv for a medication called Cymbalta which is used to treat Fibromyalgia (Fibro). There is one commercial that goes through some of the symptoms and feelings that a person with fibro does have. Some of the symptoms include the feeling of being tired all the time, an overall ache that won't go away, and sometimes periods of time where your memory or brain function feels "fuzzy". This is also known as brainfog.
In the past, these symptoms were often treated just when they presented themselves and often led the doctors to misdiagnose the patient. It wasn't until 1990 that an official set of criteria was developed to help doctors determine if a patient had Fibromyalgia. This disease has been a controversial one since the findings of the first clinical, controlled study was done in 1981. Even as recently as 2009, some doctors refuse to believe that the disease is anything other than a psychosomatic illness (an illness brought on by thinking on it without any physical deformity). As I'm neither a scientist nor a doctor, I can't tell you which is right or wrong. All I can tell you is that the pain, stiffness and brainfog are very much real and present for me every day of my life. This is true for me whether I force myself to think positive, healing thoughts or not.
So what are all the symptoms of Fibromyalgia? A widespread pain is usually at the top of the list. This isn't a sharp, stabbing pain. Rather a person with Fibro feels a dull, constant ache akin to a sore muscle. When I say widespread, I don't just mean in one or two places. I'm talking all over including arms, legs, back, neck and even fingers or toes. Another major symptom tends to be an interrupted sleep pattern. Most often sleep is interrupted by the pain. You just can't find a comfortable position no matter how hard you try! Waking up tired and not getting enough sleep adds to the decreased brain function, brainfog. It really becomes a vicious cycle. I often call Fibro a companion sickness. I don't know the exact statistics, but I firmly believe that people who are diagnosed with Fibro also have one or more other illnesses. In my case, I have the psoriatic arthritis, fibro, anti-phospholipid antibody syndrome, and high blood pressure. Oh yeah!
Unfortunately, there isn't a single definitive test that will show whether person may or may not have Fibro. As I mentioned above, there was a set of criteria developed in 1990 to help select people for a study about Fibro. This criteria, also known as the ACR 1990, has become the guide for diagnosing patients. Even now there is a certain level of controversy as some of the criteria can be viewed as subjective and open to a doctor's interpretation. This list of criteria include the presence in a patient's history of
These tender points include the following;
With those two criteria met, my doctor also ran a series of blood tests to check for arthritis levels, liver function and a whole lot of other things just to be sure. All this combined led my rheumatologist to diagnose me with Fibromyalgia.
In all honesty, there isn't a known singular cause for Fibro. While I hope there are studies and research being done to find a specific cause in hopes of a cure, I can't say for certain there are people working on it at the time of this writing. From what I have gathered in researching for this post, there are a few possible triggers. They include physical or emotional trauma (including post-tramautic stress disorder), infections, and genetics. This disease affects each patient differently. Some patients wake up feeling as though they haven't slept and ache all over. Some feel fine upon waking but feel the stiffness increase as they go about their daily routines. Some hurt all day, every day. For some, the pain gets worse when they attempt to exercise, during cold or damp weather and when they are feeling high levels of anxiety or stress. Common complaints among patients with Fibro are often sleep problems, depression and overwhelming fatigue.
These are all the basics of what Fibromyalgia is and can bring to a person's life. Living with it is no picnic but you don't have to stop living if you're diagnosed with it either. There a number of treatments that have shown to work for people with Fibro. It just takes patience and willingness to try them until you find the one that's right for you. You have to be stubborn to kick this disease's butt. In my next post about Fibro, I'll go into detail on those treatments.
Until next time,
Kay
In the past, these symptoms were often treated just when they presented themselves and often led the doctors to misdiagnose the patient. It wasn't until 1990 that an official set of criteria was developed to help doctors determine if a patient had Fibromyalgia. This disease has been a controversial one since the findings of the first clinical, controlled study was done in 1981. Even as recently as 2009, some doctors refuse to believe that the disease is anything other than a psychosomatic illness (an illness brought on by thinking on it without any physical deformity). As I'm neither a scientist nor a doctor, I can't tell you which is right or wrong. All I can tell you is that the pain, stiffness and brainfog are very much real and present for me every day of my life. This is true for me whether I force myself to think positive, healing thoughts or not.
So what are all the symptoms of Fibromyalgia? A widespread pain is usually at the top of the list. This isn't a sharp, stabbing pain. Rather a person with Fibro feels a dull, constant ache akin to a sore muscle. When I say widespread, I don't just mean in one or two places. I'm talking all over including arms, legs, back, neck and even fingers or toes. Another major symptom tends to be an interrupted sleep pattern. Most often sleep is interrupted by the pain. You just can't find a comfortable position no matter how hard you try! Waking up tired and not getting enough sleep adds to the decreased brain function, brainfog. It really becomes a vicious cycle. I often call Fibro a companion sickness. I don't know the exact statistics, but I firmly believe that people who are diagnosed with Fibro also have one or more other illnesses. In my case, I have the psoriatic arthritis, fibro, anti-phospholipid antibody syndrome, and high blood pressure. Oh yeah!
Unfortunately, there isn't a single definitive test that will show whether person may or may not have Fibro. As I mentioned above, there was a set of criteria developed in 1990 to help select people for a study about Fibro. This criteria, also known as the ACR 1990, has become the guide for diagnosing patients. Even now there is a certain level of controversy as some of the criteria can be viewed as subjective and open to a doctor's interpretation. This list of criteria include the presence in a patient's history of
- Widespread pain that has lasted more than three months and has affected each of the body's four quadrants (both left and right sides, above and below the waist),
- Pain present at 11 of the 18 established "tender points" when subjected to increased pressure.
These tender points include the following;
- Arms (elbow region)
- Buttocks (upper hip region)
- Upper chest
- Knees
- Lower back
- Neck (near collar bone region)
- Rib cage
- Shoulders
- Thighs
With those two criteria met, my doctor also ran a series of blood tests to check for arthritis levels, liver function and a whole lot of other things just to be sure. All this combined led my rheumatologist to diagnose me with Fibromyalgia.
In all honesty, there isn't a known singular cause for Fibro. While I hope there are studies and research being done to find a specific cause in hopes of a cure, I can't say for certain there are people working on it at the time of this writing. From what I have gathered in researching for this post, there are a few possible triggers. They include physical or emotional trauma (including post-tramautic stress disorder), infections, and genetics. This disease affects each patient differently. Some patients wake up feeling as though they haven't slept and ache all over. Some feel fine upon waking but feel the stiffness increase as they go about their daily routines. Some hurt all day, every day. For some, the pain gets worse when they attempt to exercise, during cold or damp weather and when they are feeling high levels of anxiety or stress. Common complaints among patients with Fibro are often sleep problems, depression and overwhelming fatigue.
These are all the basics of what Fibromyalgia is and can bring to a person's life. Living with it is no picnic but you don't have to stop living if you're diagnosed with it either. There a number of treatments that have shown to work for people with Fibro. It just takes patience and willingness to try them until you find the one that's right for you. You have to be stubborn to kick this disease's butt. In my next post about Fibro, I'll go into detail on those treatments.
Until next time,
Kay
Quote of the Day
Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.
~ Earl Nightingale
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Daydream Believer...
What is your biggest dream? You know the one that you don't really ever want to share with others because they might think it silly? I bet you all have at least one, maybe two, of those types of dreams hidden away. I know I have had several different dreams as a kid. I remember being asked in kindergarten what I wanted to be when I grew up. My response was a princess or a writer. Quite honestly don't know how I thought I was going to manage to become a princess at the time. Truth be told, I probably thought I had some kind of fairy godmother who would come and whisk away the normal life. Don't think that was going to happen either. But the dreams of youth don't always seem so silly or hard to achieve.
From my earliest memory, I can see a book near me. Before I learned to read, there was always someone reading to me. I can close my eyes right now and see my mother or father reading to me. Whenever I would stay with my grandmother, she would always read to me before I'd fall to sleep. I would sit on her lap, my head on her chest. Between the beat of her heart and the rhythm of her words, I never needed a lullaby. Once I was taught the alphabet and how to read for myself, I almost always had a book. The library became my best friend. Yes, I was that geeky little bookworm who always did the summer reading programs and usually won. There has always been a fascination with the written word for me. I don't know why I feel like I "crave" reading or writing. I just do.
I can remember writing silly short stories about animals, my brothers, bunnies, and just about anything. I would always pester my family to read these and tell me what they thought. Okay, sometimes I still do that. I'm getting better at the not-so-pestery part of it all. As I grew older, I felt the dream of being a writer pull me along my life's path. In a high school English class, we were asked what long-term goal we had. I answered the question without hesitation. I wanted to be a writer and published before I turned 30. You have to remember that 30 is really old to a 15 year-old! I wrote a lot during those teen years and a majority of my early 20s. The frequency of the writing has gotten a bit slower in recent years with all my health troubles and just life getting in the way. I even took a break from writing anything after my brother passed away. It wasn't until the middle of 2011 that I really began to create once again.
Nevertheless, I still dream of being a writer. Even though I have written a couple of novels, tons of short stories and poems, I still feel like I haven't achieved my dream yet. I just feel like something's missing. I honestly believe that's the reason I still make time to write every day. Until I feel that my dream has been satisfied in every way, I feel determined to keep going. In my heart, I believe it's important to have a dream like that so that the routine of life doesn't wear you down all the way. Whatever your dream may be, I wish you extra motivation, drive and desire to get there. Don't be afraid to go for your dream!
Until next time,
Kay
From my earliest memory, I can see a book near me. Before I learned to read, there was always someone reading to me. I can close my eyes right now and see my mother or father reading to me. Whenever I would stay with my grandmother, she would always read to me before I'd fall to sleep. I would sit on her lap, my head on her chest. Between the beat of her heart and the rhythm of her words, I never needed a lullaby. Once I was taught the alphabet and how to read for myself, I almost always had a book. The library became my best friend. Yes, I was that geeky little bookworm who always did the summer reading programs and usually won. There has always been a fascination with the written word for me. I don't know why I feel like I "crave" reading or writing. I just do.
I can remember writing silly short stories about animals, my brothers, bunnies, and just about anything. I would always pester my family to read these and tell me what they thought. Okay, sometimes I still do that. I'm getting better at the not-so-pestery part of it all. As I grew older, I felt the dream of being a writer pull me along my life's path. In a high school English class, we were asked what long-term goal we had. I answered the question without hesitation. I wanted to be a writer and published before I turned 30. You have to remember that 30 is really old to a 15 year-old! I wrote a lot during those teen years and a majority of my early 20s. The frequency of the writing has gotten a bit slower in recent years with all my health troubles and just life getting in the way. I even took a break from writing anything after my brother passed away. It wasn't until the middle of 2011 that I really began to create once again.
Nevertheless, I still dream of being a writer. Even though I have written a couple of novels, tons of short stories and poems, I still feel like I haven't achieved my dream yet. I just feel like something's missing. I honestly believe that's the reason I still make time to write every day. Until I feel that my dream has been satisfied in every way, I feel determined to keep going. In my heart, I believe it's important to have a dream like that so that the routine of life doesn't wear you down all the way. Whatever your dream may be, I wish you extra motivation, drive and desire to get there. Don't be afraid to go for your dream!
Until next time,
Kay
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