Last year was a rough one for me to get through. A lot of unsettled conflicts demanded attention during the year. Honestly, it was pretty much that way from the first moment of 2011. Not all of the year was hard to deal with and I do have some great memories. I just want the numbers of the good memories to be higher in 2012. For that to happen, I need to actually work to make the memories in the first place.
2011 had a lot of changes in it for my family and I. Jobs were gained and lost a couple of times. That made it difficult to get back on our feet financially. Getting out of debt has been one of our major goals since about mid 2006. It's most definitely been the definition of one step forward, three steps back. And yet, we're getting back to a good place with each little chunk we pay off. Thankfully, things have worked out for us and a lot of people have been happy to work with us. I just really want to get to a place where we can take care of our responsibilities without worry. I'm holding onto my faith for that dream to come true. Not all of the changes were bad. I have been blessed to have several people come into my life when I needed support and encouragement the most. These people have proven to be sincere a thousand times over. It makes me feel as though I'm not alone anymore. That helps a lot with the feelings of depression being lifted. When I don't feel as depressed, I think my pain level isn't as high. Not that I'm a scientist and can give solid data. I just know how it makes me feel inside. Unfortunately, I have also had to do a lot of soul searching this past year.
That soul searching led to some of the hardest decisions that I've had to make in my life so far. I finally had to admit that I did fall into that category of hardship with a number of doctor offices. We simply just do not have the ability to cover everything and had to ask for help. It takes a lot to admit that you can't afford to get your medications and get food to live at the same time. Most times I went without meds for at least a couple of days each month to just make it to pay day. I am very hopeful that with the help we've been offered and my husband's graduation from his college courses, we'll be able to repay the help and kindnesses soon. During the last part of 2011, I wrote that there were a lot of personal issues going on. I won't get into detail but the conflict did come to a head. As of right now, part of my family is broken off from the rest. There's just too many hurt feelings and irrational emotions to start to work things through. Maybe some time will help each party come to terms. I certainly hope so as life's just too short. Yes, it's cliche. Unfortunately, it's also very true.
That's pretty much my year in a nutshell. I'm hoping that this new year will definitely be better. I know it will take dedication and hard work but I think I'm up for the challenge. I'm here again, aren't I? Hope everyone has a great year. Looking forward to sharing it with you!!
Until next time,
Kay
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