With over a week already gone in this new year, I figure I can still get away with a little more reflection before I hear all the boos and "save it for next year" taunts. In coming up with topics for this blog, I have pretty much been going by what's happened to me along the way. Honestly, these diseases have affected my life on a lot of levels that I didn't really expect or realize until it was a little too late to do anything about it. Looking back to what I was able to do and comparing it to what I'm currently able to do is something that I don't undertake very often. If I did think about it more often, I would most certainly have a greater problem with depression than I currently do. Then again, a little reflection isn't always a bad thing.
As I was thinking about myself from about 10 years ago, I can see some of the differences right from the start. Growing up, I was never really a girlie girl. I mean, I could get dressed up and glammed as well as the next girl. Just didn't make it much of a priority. However, I did dress up a lot more often than I do now. It has to be a very special occasion for me to go all out. A lot of my style choices now are made on the basis of comfort and the amount of difficulty/ease I will have when dressing. Sad to say that I'm in my 30s and need help to get dressed some days. Every once in a while I can handle dressing alone. I can even tackle a shirt with buttons at times. Reality is that's not every day at all. Nine times out of ten I'm found sitting in my "comfy clothes," lounge pants with elastic/drawstring waist and a slouchy, baggy shirt. I've mentioned before that going out takes a bit of planning. It does involve a little bit of pain as well as I do have troubles.
Before my hands began changing shape, I was able to wear just about anything. Shirts that buttoned, shoes that tied - you know, the usual cute things you could pick up when out and about. You don't give them much thought other than an "oh, this looks cute!" and into the cart it goes. Now, it takes a little bit of thought before something gets put into the cart. I have my good days where I can do buttons - if the buttons are medium to large in size. Tiny buttons are no longer an option. Most days I reach for my pants with elastic or drawstring waists. Fumbling with the buttons on jeans is too much for my fingers. Shoes are normally some sort of slip-on such as flats or even Crocs. *gasp* Yeah, I know. But they are so comfortable on extra swelling days. Definitely no more pantyhose. They are so not missed. I can remember the torture of having to wear them to church on Sunday mornings whenever I stayed with my grandmother. Though I love her dearly, she always insisted on them. With tightness of the nylon, it's hard to stretch and pull them onto my legs. Anklet socks are about as much as I wear when I need to. Most times I'm barefoot even though my rheumy would smack me. Okay, verbally. I just can't stand socks and shoes for some reason.
Hair and make-up are also limited for me. If it's a definite special occasion, then I will try to pull my hair back with a barrette or scrunchie (most often the hair's in a scrunchie anyway). Little make-up to me involves some eyeshadow and lipstick. Recently, I got bored at home and decided to "play" dress-up. Let's just say that I'm glad I did it only because it showed me that I couldn't do the elaborate styles anymore. And that's okay. Personally, I like myself without all the fanciness. I am who I am. Today, I'm very much comfortable with that. I also know that a simple internet search can show a wide range of tools to assist me if I wanted to do anything else. There are grippers that can help you put on your shoes. Beauty tools that even hold make-up brushes for you if needed. I even saw some make-up brushes, fingernail clippers, etc with padded handles on them. I'm pretty interested in those.
Even though I can't do some of the things I used to, there's still a lot that I CAN do. It comes down to adapting and overcoming the obstacles. What are some of the problems that you are facing? Be honest with yourself so that you can find the right tool for whatever you need. It's not always easy to accept that you have to have help. Try to think of it as just another way to achieve your goal. Thinking outside the box, if you like. Just don't give up. Keep going. Keep adapting. With my brain fog, it's hard to stay focused and on point some days. I'm sure it is easily noticed in some of my blog posts. Please forgive me and don't be afraid to ask questions that aren't answered or give me topics you'd like to know more about in the comments below.
Until next time,
Kay
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