Realizations

*sighs*

I made a promise to be honest when I started this blog back up. Honest about my life and how this disease makes an impact on it. I was going to do these interesting, informative blogs that would maybe help someone speak with their doctor about the symptoms that they may be having. The last few posts I've attempted and/or published haven't been so informative as they have been diary-like. I'm not sure if that's what was supposed to have happened all along or not.

Truth be told, I have thought recently about stopping again. I still have the desire to post things. I'm just not sure that anyone wants to read when I'm depressed or when I'm having a bad day. Thanks in large part to my various diseases, I have a lot of those days. One thing or another sets me off and for hours, days or weeks, I struggle to be that upbeat person again. I mean, I was doing fine yesterday. Giggly and having a good time, I laughed with my mom on the phone and just had a good day until some stupid little thing made me sad. I can't remember what it was now but all of a sudden, I was missing my brother and my grandmother. They've both passed on from this earthly place. I know that part's normal - the missing of them. I tried to think of the good things and it only made it worse for about two hours. I just wanted to be able to talk to them again. I needed to hear their voices telling me it would all be okay and we'll get through this. Kinda silly, huh?

It took me a long while to clear my thoughts and just really think about what I'm doing here. I do want to get information on symptoms, treatments, and the like out there for people. But I also want to tell how it hurts me, how it keeps me from doing the things I took for granted. It's important that people realize that Psoriatic Arthritis or Fibromyalgia aren't just words in a medical book somewhere or just the answers to questions on a test. These diseases have faces because they are embodied within people - people like me. So if my blogs turn out to be depressing for a day or two or I sound like I'm bouncing all over the place due to Fibro fog, it's just a part of my life I deal with every single day. It's my world. I don't get a vacation from it. So, I guess this means that informative posts or ramblings of a foggy woman, I'll keep blogging. One day at a time.

Until next time,
Kay