This past week was a busy one for our household and doctors' offices. I had two appointments while my husband had one. Lucky goober. Anyway, my first appointment was with my lung doctor. Yeah, I know there's a technical term for him. I'm a simple person so I write/say how I would normally talk. To me, he'll always be a lung doctor. Whenever I go to see him, my anxiety revs up quite badly. I know it's an irrational thing and sometimes I can conquer it as I did on Monday. Sometimes I can't and end up rescheduling. I've had a therapist tell me that it's because I equate doctors with getting bad medical news ever since my brother was diagnosed with lupus back in the late 1990s. I'd most certainly agree with that theory.
I debated whether or not to go almost until the last minute on Monday. Eventually, I did go and glad I did. I was only in there a few minutes because everything turned out alright. My echo and lung pressure test results were good so there was no need to change anything. I'm just to call him if I begin to have any trouble with my breathing. All that worry for next to nothing. Why does my mind have to be so mean to me? I have no idea. Literally.
Wednesday was my day to see my internalist. The poor guy has to handle dang near everything that I have wrong with me. Fortunately he treated my brother, Billy, for the lupus and other complications. The doctor already knew a lot of my family's medical history. When it came time to treating me, we didn't have to spend a lot time doing the background stuff. I had the usual blood test for my blood thinner therapy and a test for my thyroid. Each of those were within range so it was off to see the doctor. We talked about what's happened over the past six months and a good bit about my depression. It felt really good to be able to be open with him about that.I thought for sure he'd just put me on some sort of medication. Instead he really listened and suggested that I continue with my blog, writing in a journal offline and just being aware of everything. If it worsens, then we'll talk about taking some therapy options including medicines. Overall, it was a very nice visit.
Thursday was the scary appointment. My husband had been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, Stage IV, back in 2005. He underwent eight and a half months of intense chemotherapy. After weathering all the effects of both the disease and the chemo, he was pronounced cancer free toward the end of 2005. Definitely a miracle in a lot of people's books. Ever since then, he's had to visit the cancer doctor every six months for blood work and follow-up appointments. No matter how many times he goes in there and comes out with good results, I still have high anxiety until I know he's okay. He'd be the first to admit that I annoy him greatly by asking a thousand questions. I just want to make sure he's okay and will be around for me to annoy. I'm very thankful to say that he's still doing great. No cancer still. He goes back again in six months. Yay!
It's very strange to have good office visits in a row like this. I've been giving thanks and knocking on wood ever since. Just don't want to take the chance, you know? In all honesty, I think it's just finally clicked with both my hubby and myself that we have to start taking better care of ourselves. We're not really kids anymore and our bodies aren't going to react like they used to back in the day. Just because I didn't make a list of resolutions to achieve this year doesn't mean that I didn't set goals for myself. I do want to continue on this path of taking good care of myself. I want to be around to see those I love achieve their own dreams. With that in mind, I'm going to eat a little better and move a little more. I just have to make sure not to run into another cabinet door or try falling up the stairs again. Have a great Saturday, everyone!
Until next time,
Kay
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